Goodbye 2008

2008 was the Year of the Hip for me and I'm deeply grateful that I'm done with five out of six surgical procedures to correct my hip dysplasia. But 2008 was also the year in which Doug and I both were laid off and the economy is the bleakest I've ever experienced. I know that things won't turn around quickly, but I'm hoping that by this time in 2009, I'll be looking back on a year in which Doug and I both took advantage of fabulous career opportunities (and at least one of us lands a job with health insurance) and the economy is soundly out of the crapper. What can I say? I'm an optimist. What I do know is this, a year from now I'll be able to walk, run, and sit cross legged once again. Gone are the stabbing pains in my hips as the result of my bones grinding away at my cartilage - I will always have this as one of the positives of '08.

Tonight Doug and I will have a quiet night at home. We're having Chambord Swiss Fondue (a.k.a. Fatdue) and champagne. We'll watch TV and the snow falling outside; we'll kiss this year goodbye and look forward to whatever 2009 has to bring.

Happy New Year to all!

Three Weeks Post Op

Today I am three weeks past my surgery and I'm feeling pretty good. Here's where I am:

• I can put on my right sock and shoe, but still need help with the left.
• No problems getting in and out of the shower on my own.
• I still know when I'm coming up on my next Tylenol dose, but the jags of pain are getting to be fewer.
• My biggest challenge, by far, is that I cannot sleep through the night. Every night between 2:00 and 4:00 I am awakened by leg pain and muscle spasms. Once I'm awake, there's nothing I can do to get comfortable again. I've learned that if I wake up on the early side to just take a benedryl or two to knock myself out. Otherwise I'd be up for hours.
• I still need a big nap every day.

PT came for her last home visit today. There's not much more that she can do with me, it's just isometrics for now until I see Dr. B on the 21st.

Home Again

We're home from the Cape. It was good to see the in-laws, but I'm happy that I will be sleeping in my own bed again and eating my normal comfort foods.

Definitely going to bed early tonight.

Fugitive

I never made it to the gym on Friday to suspend the membership - I took a nap instead.

Yesterday we made our way up to Cape Cod to see Doug's family. It's a year in which we would have normally been with them for the holidays. His parents are getting on in years and can't come to us, so we made the drive. We're staying at the inn where we customarily stay, having made (and paid for) the room well before my surgery. Ours is a nice room with a big king bed on the ground level and dog friendly.

I know that Dr. B. wants me to be extra cautious with my right leg, thus the house arrest. I am being super careful, but what I didn't count on is this: I. Am. Wiped. Out. I'm glad we're not traveling back today because it would be too, too much. This morning I got up for breakfast and then went back to bed until noon.

The upside to my escape is that I now fully and completely understand why I need to rest and I remain thankful that I have the time to do so.

Boxing Day

My sister and her family are coming to visit later this afternoon, so I guess you could say that we're celebrating Boxing Day. (Mom, I know this does you proud!) I'm looking forward to seeing her and her husband and the kids. She's bringing eggplant Parmesan for dinner - one of my favorites!

Life in Hipville plods on. I seem to have a "rough patch" every day between 4 AM and 6 AM - it wakes up with pain and I can't get comfortable no matter what I try. I doze on and off until it's time for me to take my Tylenol again at 6 AM and then sleep hard until 9 or so. In the pre-dawn hours I also get muscle spasms in my left thigh that don't hurt, but are strong enough to wake me up. Throughout the day I get jags of pain that, at times, take my breath away but they're thankfully brief and usually only occur in the last hour before my next dose of Tylenol.

I'm thinking about sneaking out of the house today, with considerable help from Doug, so I can suspend my gym membership for a while. I didn't do this the last time, because I didn't know that I could, but I figure saving the $75/month isn't such a bad idea.

Christmas Eve

There's not a lot to report when you can't leave the house. I got a suprise visit from the PT this morning - I swore she said she was coming on Friday... She'll come back for her final visit next week and then we'll be done.

Hmmmm, what else? Not much really. Doug bought some special treats for dinner tonight and tomorrow. We're just going to hang out with each other and the pooch and enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas.

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

Two Weeks Post-Op

Paris is my constant companion on the sofa.

Today marks two weeks since my surgery and again, it feels like it's been longer. I pretty much accomplished the goals I set for myself a week ago:

• Be able to put a sock on my right foot - I can do this about 8 times out of 10. I'll have this nailed by the 3 week mark, for sure.


• Be able to get in and out of the tub without help from Doug - I barely managed to do this the last time I took a shower, I think it's still a little hit or miss. Again, by week 3 it'll be a no brainer.


• Be better at crutching - I'm still on the walker most of the time, but it's gotten much, much easier for me to get up and down the stairs on the crutches.


• Be less swollen - after 2 weeks (and continuing) of nearly constant icing, I am a lot less swollen. My left knee once again looks like a knee.


• Ditch the Dilaudid - Check! I still have pain; I still know each and every time when I'm within 30 minutes of my next Tylenol dose; I almost broke down and took a Dilaudid this afternoon, but I didn't.

I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve and Christmas. Next week I'll be looking forward to New Year's Eve and the following week I'll be looking forward the end of my house arrest. Again, I am thankful to have the time to recover.

Happy To Be Housebound

Today was frigid here in the northeast with temperatures in the teens. (Apologies for not knowing the Celsius equivalent, but it's way below zero.) It was A-OK with me that I'm confined to the house - I like winter and all, but not bone-chilling temps. I find that having an 8" piece of stainless steel implanted in my femur doesn't help matters when the weather is cold or damp.

It was otherwise a fairly uneventful day - my PT came in the morning and gave me a bunch more isometric exercises to work on. She's going to come by on Friday to wrap things up. At this point there's not much else that she can do for/with me; my real PT will start up once I'm off crutches.

"Skiing Accident?"

This afternoon I went to my second of two holiday parties for the season, from here on out it's me on the sofa and in the house. No more trips into Manhattan until January 9th. Next Saturday we're going to schlep up to the Cape to see Doug's family and that will be my last outing during my month of house arrest. I'm thankful for the holidays and the snowy weather we've had. It makes me less cabin-feverish.

The dinner this afternoon was a nice affair - a small gathering of old friends. We meet at the same restaurant in December every year. I'm so glad that I didn't have to miss it. As we were headed back to the car some random guy on the street says to me: "skiing accident?" It took me a beat but I just said "no, hip dysplasia," never breaking my stride (or whatever it is that one doesn't break when ambulating on crutches.)

It always strikes me as odd when people make comments like this. What exactly are they thinking? What do they want? I'm sure they don't know that they're being rude and I guess a part of me is satisfied that the default is that I look like I have a sports injury and not a congenital hip defect. But I still don't understand what motivates complete strangers to verbalize what's going through their tiny little heads. Or maybe the real question is, why do I feel compelled to answer?

The Good or The Bad?

I've read and heard from several of my Hip Sisters who have had surgery on both of their hips that there is a good and a bad experience - one is definitely easier than the other. I've thought a lot about this and honestly can't say which is which - I think that they're just different. I guess if I had to pick, I would say that my right (first) hip was my Bad One. Here are the positives and negatives as I see it:

RIGHT HIP:

• I had no idea what to expect. (-)
• The pain wasn't as bad as I had imagined. (+)
• The Vicodins made me nauseous and gave me nightmares, the anti-nausea patches gave me blurry vision. (-)
• I was tired all the time, for months. (-)
• I was out of the house the day after I came home. (+)
• I pushed myself back to work too soon because I felt like I had to. (-)

LEFT HIP:

• I knew exactly what to expect. (+)
• The pain really hasn't been bad. (+)
• I have the time that I need to properly recover and don't have to push myself back to work for fear of losing my job. (+)
• With a couple of pre-determined exceptions, I can't leave the house for a month. (-)
• I'm not yet strong enough for crutches. A week and a half post surgery and I'm still using the walker about 90% of the time. (-)
• I'm not on Vicodin and the Dilaudid didn't give me any bad side effects. (+)
• Swelling on both legs just sucks. (-)

OK, so now that I've actually broken down for myself, I guess the first one was the bad one. I guess I can add one more thing to the LEFT HIP column:

• I've already done the Bad One. (+)

Last Night

I had a really good time at my team holiday dinner last night. It was about midnight by the time I was getting into bed and I was due for Tylenol. Bedtime is when I usually take my Dilaudid, but I figured I'd just take the Tylenols and then hit the hard stuff if I woke up during the night in pain.

Happy day - I made it through the night! I'm feeling pretty good today, albeit tired from last night, but the pain level is OK. I'm going to make a go of it again tonight on just the Tylenol.

One of my biggest motivators - if I'm off of the narcs I can have a GLASS OF WINE!

Hall Pass #1

I'm excited that I get to get out of the house tonight to go to my (former) team's holiday dinner party in the city. It's one of the two exceptions Dr. B. granted me as part of the terms of my post-surgery house arrest. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone although it's bittersweet that this is likely the last time we'll all be together as a group.

Right now I'm hanging out on the sofa (shocker!) waiting for the PT to arrive. Last time around, I didn't do any physical therapy until I was off of crutches. I'm glad that I can get an earlier jump on it this time and that my insurance covers 60 visits a year.

Christmas Cards

I spent the bulk of the day on the sofa, oh wait! Now I spend the bulk of all of my days on the sofa...

One of the smart things I did before my surgery, before the layoff, before Thanksgiving even, was to buy holiday cards. It's been years since I've had the time to send them out due my career which I loving called "the job that ate my life."

Being the type-A that I am, I also used the time to add my holiday contacts to my new (personal) blackberry. I know that I could import them from the old to the new, but my data base isn't as tidy as I'd like, and hell, I've got the time...

One Week Post-Op

I'd like to be able to say that I can't believe that a whole week has gone by already but the truth is, it feels like my surgery was at least 10 or 12 days ago. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

For me, the biggest difference between this surgery and the last is my mobility. Dr. Buly only wants me going down and up the stairs one time a day. I'm finding it harder to use crutches at this point - I can't swing through like I could the last time. I'm not stable enough for them and my hips are really, really swollen, and so I use the walker about 95% of the time. I'm able to put more weight on my arms with it. The upside that because I'm not holding up my left leg up all the time to swing on crutches, my circulation on that side is better (from toe touching) and my calf on that side doesn't feel like it's about to explode.

The other big thing for me this go around, is that I'm taking Dilaudid instead of Vicodin for the pain. I take 4 mg at bedtime and no more. I do have more vivid dreams on it, but none of the Steven King-like nightmares that the Vicodins gave me. I'm going to try to stop taking them next Monday or Tuesday. I also take 1,000 mg of Tylenol every six hours. I don't need a watch - come 5 to 5.5 hours after a dose, my hip lets me know loud and clear that it's time for more.

Here's what I'm hoping to accomplish over the next week:

• Be able to put a sock on my right foot
• Be able to get in and out of the tub without help from Doug
• Be better at crutching
• Be less swollen
• Ditch the Dilaudid

I think these are reasonable goals - stay tuned!

The Claw!!!!!!!

The visiting nurse came yesterday to do her evaluation before the PT arrives later in the week. We talked about the things that I can and cannot do at this point.

She didn't have an entire hip kit with her - she was missing a leg lifter, which I could really use this time around. I passed on the sock putter-on things - Doug can handle sockage for now. But I did take the sponge on a stick for washing my toes and THE CLAW!!!!!

How did I get through the last surgery without it?! Love it!

Keeping it Positive

When Doug and I were both working, there were always a thousand things that needed to be done around the house that we never seemed to have time to do. Since Doug has been laid off, he's done things like clean the gutters, do the brakes on the car, catch up on doctors' appointments, etc.

Now that I'm in the same boat I'm trying to do some of the same. Being on house arrest, tired, and with limited mobility has put a bit of a damper on this, but today I managed to call the dryer repair guy and the stove repair guy, two things I've been trying to do for weeks, but just hadn't found the time. Oh, and I also don't have to worry about one of us working from home to be here for the repair - we'll be here... Other than crossing those two things off of my list, the day was fairly uneventful. The visiting nurse came today for my evaluation and the visiting PT is supposed to come later this week.

I have some more calls to make tomorrow and will start on my Christmas cards. I'm hoping it won't be too rainy and Doug can go out and get a tree. Often, we don't get one because we feel we won't be home enough to enjoy it. Not so this year!

Anesthesia: Love It/Hate It...

When I was in pre-op last Tuesday I was a little disappointed to learn that I wouldn't have the same anesthesiologist that I had the last time. I had had such a good experience with her - I didn't remember a bit of the surgery, despite being "only" twilighted and the nausea after the fact wasn't too bad.

My disappointment quickly faded moments later when Dr. Buly came in to the room and told me that the anesthesiologist that I would have for my surgery is the same one that he had had when he had knee surgery and the same one that his wife was going to have when she had surgery later this month. If he's good enough for Dr. B. and his wife, he's good enough for me. Too bad I cannot for the life of me remember his name - I'll just have to wait for his bill to arrive for that.

My anesthesiologist this time was super nice, like the last, and I had none of the nausea that I had the last time. One minute I was getting settled on the first procedure table (they use one for the arthroscopy and another for the rest of the surgery) and the next minute I was in post op. I didn't need any of the anti-nausea patches that I had the last time. I was very, very pleased.

Oh, but the downside of anesthesia and the narcotics I'm now on... I don't want to go into too much detail because anyone who's every had surgery or been on narcs knows what I'm talking about and it's just, well... indelicate. Colace, Senna, and a whole lotta backlog (pardon the pun) is all I'm gonna say. I dislike this day as much as I did the last time around.

But as they say, this too shall pass. (again, please pardon the pun.)

Home Again

This afternoon I came home. It was a bit of a challenge getting in and out of the Xterra, but the trip home was otherwise uneventful. All of the movement did take it's toll though - I had Doug fill my Rx's and took 2 mg of Dilaudid when he came back with them. (Cut to 3 hours later when Laura wakes up from a coma-like nap...)

I'm so happy to be home though and OK with the month of house arrest too. I would have preferred not to have been laid off, but I am really glad that I can (for once) focus on getting myself well and not push myself back sooner than I should. Had I not been laid off, I'd be completely stressed about the fact that would have to delay my return to part-time work by a week, as per Dr. B's orders, and then stress about how quickly I could push myself back to being full-time. I'd be back on my emails and conference calls on Monday, despite the company policy of NOT working while out on short-term disability, because my department would expect me to - there's policy, and then there's reality. Now I don't have to worry about any of it.

Right now it's about getting better. PERIOD!

PS - the picture is of the wreath that Doug bought for our front door.

One More Night

Dr. Buly came by this morning to check on me and wish me well until I see him again in January. He restated the terms of my "house arrest" for the next month - he really wants to keep the right hip protected. He is granting me furlough for a party next Thursday though - I'll have Doug along as a spotter/chaperon and I won't be able to drink, so it will be OK.

I'll be released from the hospital tomorrow. It amazed me last February, and it continues to amaze me again, how quickly the body starts to heal itself. This morning I still felt a little dizzy and weak on crutches. By this afternoon, I was able to walker down to the PT room and then go up and down the 4 practice stairs that they have. I feel worlds better than I did just six hours ago.

It's too bad that the entire recovery process isn't this quick. I can remember last spring feeling as though I would never be able to walk without a limp; fearing that the swelling on my leg would never go away. I was also never able to really run after my last surgery - mostly because I had a set of mismatched hips, one corrected and one not. I'm hoping that I will be able to run again come spring time.

I am so thankful to be on the other side of this surgery. Now, all that's left is the hardware removal next year, and that will be a piece of cake compared to this!

For Mom

Here's the photo of me right before I went into the OR.

On A Scale of One to Ten

All of my hip chickers know this line: "on a scale of one to ten, what is the pain?" In the hospital, in pre-ops and post-ops, we are asked this over and over, all day long. My pain has been in the 4-5 neighborhood post surgery.... That is until the PT comes around.

About an hour ago I was decathed and got up on the walker to make my first trip to the loo. Standing up spiked my pain up to about a 9.75 for about 30 seconds. It's all consuming, but it passes and I know that it's part of my recovery. Oh sure, I'll squawk about it, but for the most part I'm dealing with it. I also think I happen to have a pretty high threshold for pain.

Not so for one of the women down the hall. I have no idea what she had done, or what the PT's are doing to her but she's been SCREAMING at the top of her lungs "NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I CAN'T DO IT!!!!" She's got a long road ahead of her. Literally, the entire floor can hear her. I think on a scale of 1 to 10, she's got to be registering about a 35 right now.

Maybe it's in my head, but my right leg already feels better having had the blade plate removed. I'm happy to be on my way to getting fully better.

Post Op - Day 2

What I'm feeling more than anything is tired. I slept really well last night (in between being woken up from the depths every 2 hours for vitals) and when I woke up around 7 I was ready for another nap.

PT spoke with Dr. B and he's agreed to let me put a little more weight on my right leg but he wants me to TAKE IT EASY. My post-op mall rat days are done - I have to lay low for the next month. PT had me up on a walker and I made it all 18 feet +/- to the door and then back. And now I'm exhausted again.

Other updates - my epidural is out and so is the IV, except for the tap. All that's left is the cath, which will come out after lunch.

Did I mention I'm tired? Going to take a snooze before the food shows up.

Come Fly With Me

First of all, Doug apologises for not posting yesterday. He was pretty tired after the day. Ha! He doesn't know the meaning of the word. I getting tired just typing this.

I did well with my Triple Threat (osteotomy, arthroscopy, and hardware removal.) The biggest challenge now is figuring out how I am going to grow wings and fly. I have the residents and PT in a conundrum - Dr. B said that I can toe-touch on the osteotomy side (10 pounds or so of weight) and be 50% weight bearing on my hardware removal side. Hmmmmmm.... that leaves roughly 40% of my weight to be supported by??? My arms, as it turns out. Sadly, I can't fly, but HSS has a walker rigged with arm supports. OK, what about when I get home? What am I to do with the flight of stairs every morning and night? I'm waiting for Dr. B to come by and hopefully tell me I can do the stairs at full weight on the right side.

OK - going to nap now. Tired, tired, tired. More later.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Lots To Do

It's Sunday afternoon and right at this minute I'm really, really thankful that I don't have to go into work tomorrow (which I would have) because I still have a lot to do:

• Finish shopping for my husband's Christmas gifts
• Wrap his gifts
• Finish up with about two more family Christmas gifts
• Get a pedicure (of course)
• Return my new cell phone since I just got my post-layoff blackberry
• Email still more people re thanks for thinking of me this week and PS please hire me as a freelancer as soon as I'm off of the DL...
• Straighten up my side of the bedroom because I hate an untidy room and I'll be spending more time than normal in there soon.
• Have a nice dinner at home and savor a glass (or two) of wine since it'll be a few weeks before I do that again.

My left hip has been hurting more than usual in the last 24 hours - and in a strange way, I'm very happy for that. It was never, ever as bad as the right but I still knew that it was better to get it taken care of sooner rather than later. I suppose the good thing about worrying for 4 months straight about being laid off is that it was part of the reason why I decided to have this done NOW. I'm glad I've still got the decent insurance, I'm glad I'll have my disability time. It was definitely the right move. I think my left hip has just been reminding me of this in it's own way.

The Good News, the Bad News, and the Good News

It's been quite a week for me... Who am I kidding? It's been quite a last 3 months for me.

So, the good news is that I had my pre-ops this past Tuesday and successfully donated blood to myself with an amazingly high iron count of 13.7 - truly a good number for a vegetarian. But that's not my good news... I have lived my ENTIRE adult life believing that I'm 5'3.75" inches tall. I rounded up on my license, passport and at every doctor's office I've ever been to - I've been passing myself off as 5'4" for years. So, I'm having my pre-op physical and the nurse actually measures my height instead of just asking me. "5'5"" she says. "No, I'm 5'4"." She measures again. "You're 5'5". Oh wait, your chart from the last time says you're 5'4"." Me: "no one measured me the last time. I don't remember the last time I was actually measured. High school, maybe?!" She takes me to the other scale with the measuring thingy and checks my height for a third time. "You ARE 5'5" tall." Me: beaming for the rest of the day and thinking to myself "I'm 5'5", I'm 5'5", I'm 5'5"! "

So, here's the bad news - I was laid off from my job yesterday. Doug was laid off from his at the end of July and is still looking for a job. This is why there were no more posts about the dreaded Cigna insurance drama - we switched onto my company's policy in September.

But here's the other good news - my company gave me a generous severance package that will go into effect after I've taken my 3 months of short-term disability leave to have my surgery and recover properly. I'm happy I don't have to crutch my way back to the office 3 weeks after going under the knife for fear of losing my job - I already have.

I am at peace with my layoff - everything has a time and a purpose. I took the job with goals in mind, and I accomplished them all. It's time for me to have my surgery, heal, and then move on to something bigger and better.

I don't know if any of my 35+ employees have secretly stumbled across my blog. I had intentionally kept it on the DL from them - being the boss and all, I wanted to keep these two parts of my world separate. If any of them have found it, and for those of you many readers who weren't my employees, they and you should know that my team was the best part of my job. I will miss them the most. They are a fine group of professionals who always did me proud.

Me? I'll be fine. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in life.

Now, on to that osteotomy!

2 Weeks and a Day

Last night it started to hit me for the first time this time that - OMG, my surgery is in TWO WEEKS!

I'm not worried about the pain or the surgery - been there, done that. I'm a little concerned about my right leg being able to carry the load since it will also have been opened up for the hardware removal and it's still less than a year since it was fixed. I only have two more weeks to get my ducks in a row, finish my Christmas shopping, wrap up the loose ends. I know that it will be here tomorrow.

What is perhaps most daunting to me this time, is that I know how looooooong it takes to get better. For the entire season of Winter I will be walking with a device - walker, crutches, gimp sticks, and then cane. I must focus on Spring and the renewal that the season symbolizes, for I will finally have a complete set of rebuilt hips.

4 Weeks to Go

Today I'm 4 weeks out from my surgery date. In fact, at this time a month from now my surgery will be OVER. I'll be in my room and on my way to recovery. I can't wait.

I've definitely been way more laid back this time around. After all, I know what to expect. Oh sure, I still have my staff on Sick Patrol - i.e. don't come in if you're sick and don't come near me if you think you might be. But I'd like to shed a few pounds and I've been working out some, but not nearly as much as I should be. It's been crazy busy at work and I just don't have the free time. Last February I was much more focused on the surgery because I had no idea what to expect and getting in shape was, in part, how I dealt with the stress of it. I'm not stressed this time around.

I read Cass' post about every surgery being different - a point I took to heart. I can't expect this to be any easier just because I've been through it before. To start, in addition to the usual femoral osteotomy and arthroscopy, I'll also be having the metal plate (or deep implant in insurance speak) removed and that will make it more challenging. But, what I do know is this - I won't break. I know that I'm strong and my attitude is good. It's going to be OK.

I am SO Bungee Jumping!

My mother lives in New Zealand and I try to go there for a visit every other year. Doug and I were there in '06 and we spent a little time in the Lake Taupo area. While exploring, we came across a bungee jumping place that had a platform high above the Waikato River. They were closed for the day but we walked out onto it as far as we could. As I stood at the gate, 20' from the jump point, I looked down at the river and thought "I could do this..." And then "I WANT to do this!" The next day we moved onto another part of NZ and the jump never happened.

Flash forward two years and I'm on crutches, my femur having been sawed in half and reattached at a different angle. Flash forward another six months and we're back in New Zealand with bungee jumping not on the itinerary. I didn't ask before the trip - I just floated the idea by Elaine, saying that I wouldn't be doing it on this trip. I had thoughts of detached limbs - the mental image wasn't pretty.

Today I had my pre-surgery appointment with Dr. Buly regarding my left hip. At my right hip pre-surgery appointment I literally had a list of 22 questions. This time I had only five: Can I have the same anesthesiologist? What is the order in which the three procedures will be done? Is the bone sawed in half with the hip in or out of the socket? (this was a question from my friends and the answer is IN.) What do I need to do to get the hardware back? And finally, will I ever be able to bungee jump??? Dr. B. said yes - once I'm fully recovered (reasonable.) No detached limbs, no osteotomies undone - it'll be fine.

2010 NZ trip - I HAVE TO DO IT!!

Here We Go Again

It was less than a 12 months ago that I first met with Dr. Buly and proceeded on to my Year of the Hip. Now I'm 8 weeks away from having my second FO, more arthroscopy, and the hardware removed from my right hip. I'm most excited about the latter. There are days when I just want to grab a pocket knife and screwdriver and take that thing out myself.

Today I made an appointment for X-rays and my pre-surgery meeting with Dr. B. for next Wednesday. Also on the agenda is to get back into the gym with renewed determination to build up my strength some more on the right side, re-tone the arms and work on the abductors on the left side. I've also got the 8 weeks to shed about 8 extra pounds. I made sure I was on the low side of my average weight before I went in the last time and I feel like it helped - less to slug around on crutches.

It's a lot easier this go around. There's none of the anxiety - I know what to expect, I know what I'm capable of. I'm also glad I wrote the blog, if for no other reason than to have the bench marks - showering for the first time, getting out of the house, stopping the Vicodin's, going to concerts at Madison Square Garden... that kinda thing.

I don't have any dread - so far. More than anything, I want to get this done. I want to be fully well. I want to be done with the Year of the Hip.

Change of Date

My left hip surgery date just shifted by a week.

Dr. Buly travels a lot to lecture on All Things Hip (or similar) and turns out he'll be away on December 2nd. Elaine gave me a lot of other dates to choose from including the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, which could be problematic considering that Doug and I will be hosting about 15 people this year... I also could have chosen Thursday, December 4th, but I decided to push it a full week until the 9th.

My first surgery was on a Thursday and that was all well and good, but what I failed to consider is that Dr. B. and Elaine actually have LIVES. That meant instead of having them to tend to me on the weekend, I had a steady stream of residents and interns checking on me. If you want to feel really old, stay in the hospital over the weekend. I know that they're competent and all, and I have full confidence that they'd pick up the phone and call Dr. B if there had been a problem, but I swear some of them were barely old enough to shave.

Thanks Doogie Howser, but I think I want the big boys (and girls) looking after me this time.

Pop Up Day - 6 Months Later

September 1st - the other Pop Up Day of the year in the world according to Laura.

How far I've come in 6 months:

• I feel like a normal person most of the time.
• My left hip hurts more often and more painfully than my right.
• My scar isn't so bad.
• It was worth it, worth it, worth it.

In 3 months and a day I'll be back in to have my left hip done. My second surgery will be almost a year to the day that I learned I have hip dysplasia and that the pain that had been plaguing me for years could be alleviated.

I'm looking forward to February pop-up '09. I'll be done with my surgery, done with my crutches and done with my cane. And except for the final hardware removal, I'll be done with the year of the hip.

A Debt of Gratitude

Last week Lauren and Sarah published "How Hip Dysplasia Works" - http://health.howstuffworks.com/hip-dysplasia.htm - it's an amazing resource and one that I wish I had when I was diagnosed less than a year ago.

The internet is a fabulous thing - I've found blogs, met Hip Sisters, checked up on my surgeon and hospital, and read what information I could find on hip dysplasia. If this link had been around a year ago, I would have devoured it. It's more comprehensive than anything else I've seen.

Thank you Lauren and Sarah for all of your hard work. You've provided a tremendous service to Hip Sisters (and Brothers!) everywhere.

Brava!

A Drink with Sarah and MP

Last Friday I met up with Sarah for a glass of wine after work and she brought along MP for me to meet. Sarah's right, she is HEAVY. She also has a gnarly sharp edge where the top is pushed into the femoral head. Forget the marrow, that's the part that skeeved me out a bit.

It was an altogether fascinating thing for me to touch and feel what I've only been able to imagine is inside of me. I don't reckon Dr. Buly ever shows these to patients before their surgery. I think I would have had a harder time going in if I had known - I might have run for the door.

Every time I've climbed a set of stairs over the last several months, I've thought to myself that my blade plate must weigh a lot because I thought I could feel the weight of it. My logical self always dismissed this, I mean really, it's just a little stainless steel. Can't weigh more than a fork... Right? Well, my instinctual self was right - it is heavy.

I can't wait (weight) to get it out.

Hello Bangalore!

I see I have had a lot of hits from Bangalore in the last week or so - what's the interest in Prilosec?

Born Dysplastic/To Be Wild

The trip we took in June had me really missing riding a bike. I got my motorcycle license in 2002 but was never 100% comfortable riding the sport bike that I had at the time. That bike has been sitting in the garage unused for the last two years. So, back from the west coast I started tire-kicking used cruisers and came across one that I just had to buy. For those who know/care it's a 2006 Honda Shadow VLX 600.

My left hip is hurting me more and more, but this I can do. I love it!

Two Hips, Two Pains

Last night I ran pretty hard at our masters' level agility class and this morning I was feeling it in both hips. My right hip was tight in that hard-workout kinda way, but most of it was walked off by the time I got to the office.

Not so for the left side - it hurts in that mortar and pestle, bone grinding on cartilage kinda way. There's no walking this pain off - it only got worse as walked my commute today. I will likely be reaching for my old friend, the IB's, before long.

It's days like these that make me so deeply grateful for having had my surgery.

And ready for the next one.

Agility Practice

Here's a clip from last Friday night's agility class:

Granted these are short distances and relatively slow speeds, but I am running and my right hip doesn't hurt! I do feel it on the left side though.

Adam, I Think We Need a Break

A couple of weeks ago NYSC opened up a new and beautiful gym a mile away from our house. Adam and I came up with a workout plan for me and off I went. I was supposed to see him a few more times this month, but meetings came up and PT appointments got cancelled. Then this Monday, I looked at my calendar in the morning and realized that I was supposed to be at PT 10 minutes earlier. Oooops!

I just don't feel like I need it any more. So I called up Adam and we agreed to stop for a while - I'll call him if I feel I need to. I'll probably start back up in October with a pre-game plan, but for now, Adam and I are taking the summer off.

Blade Runner

On Wednesday night I ran for the first time since my surgery. Oddly, when I'm in a full-on run I'm a lot smoother than at slower speeds.

I ran Paris at agility once that night and then again a few times on Friday night. My calves are still sore, but I can't even describe how good it feels to be running again.

Hip Bike Chick

Every few years or so, our friend Mark organizes a bunch of friends to meet up somewhere, rent Harley's and ride.

Last December Mark told me about the trip he was planning for June - San Francisco to Lake Tahoe to Yosemite to the Pacific Coast Highway and back to SF. Six days, 1,200 miles.

It's a lot of time to spend on the back of a bike, but Dr. Buly seemed to think it would be OK. . Well intentioned, but non-riding friends told me I couldn't do it - no way, no how. I'd have to sit this one out.

Don't tell me I can't do something...

It was an AMAZING trip. I stretched whenever we stopped and I was totally fine. My left hip was the side that gave me the pain - not the right. I'm so glad I went.

Happy Flight Delay

Doug and I are headed up to San Francisco for a vacation with friends and right now we're hanging out at the Admiral's Club because our flight has been delayed by at least 2 hours.

So, why do I have the big grin on my face? Because I'm sitting crossed legged!

Happy day!

The Good (?) Thing About Hip Pain

Lately my left hip has been bitchy - the grinding pain and the sharp pangs that wake me up in the middle of the night. This was always my "good side."

I don't like the pain, but every time I have it now I am reminded of how amazingly improved my right side is. My former bad side, that hurt everyday to some degree or another for the last decade, isn't causing me pain any more. I am my own before and after comparison.

The question I'm most often asked is if I'm glad I had my surgery - I am 1000%, yes. Pre-surgery there was a little part of my brain (that I squelched) that wondered if we weren't making a big mistake - What if something goes wrong? What if I limp for the rest of my life? Will I ever run again? I knew there would be no undoing it once I was wheeled into the OR.

I am so thankful that I decided to have my FO. I am deeply grateful to have been born into a part of the world where fixing my hip dysplasia is even an option. I'm looking forward to having the left side done.

And then I'll be done.

Hip Pain

Early, early this morning I was woken up by hip pain - in my left hip. As stiff as my right still gets, it doesn't give me joint pain anymore.

What Blade Plate?

Today I'm flying to Chicago for a shoot. This morning I intentionally opted out of putting my hair up, so as to not have to deal with the barrette setting off the metal detector.

Flash forward an hour and a half and I'm at Laguardia with a sea of Travel Rookies - those who don't know the Do's and Don'ts of airport security and who bog down the lines - traveling for the holiday weekend. I deftly get into the shortest line, thanking my lucky stars for not being behind the TR family of 6 that is directly behind me. Coat off, bag of liquids in the bin, shoes off, boarding pass in hand, and I breeze through. I've done this a thousand times - I'm the model of efficiency at this.

Now I'm up in the AC killing time before boarding and it just occurred to me that as I was passing through security, I never even thought about the hunk of metal that's taken up temporary residence in my leg. I'm walking normally, feeling good, and it evidently doesn't set off the alarms. For this moment, I'm just a normal frequent flyer.

Love that.

Hip Chick vs. Cigna - Round 2

It turns out that while Cigna did decide to process Dr. Buly's fees as in-network, they also took the liberty of applying a 50% multiple surgery discount to my arthroscopy. This would leave me with a $5,000 balance on that procedure plus the $2,500 they aren't paying on the femoral osteotomy.

Of course, when I spoke with them prior to my surgery to find out exactly how much I'd be liable for, they never mentioned a discount. At the time they swore up and down I'd only owe the $4,000 maximum out of network, out of pocket.

The nice Cigna man on the phone yesterday (and I do mean that) told me that they should have told me about the discount when I called in February. Well, "should have told me" isn't good enough. They DIDN'T tell me. In fact, they told me I'd only owe $4,000. I'm so thankful for the copious notes and call reference numbers I so dutifully noted. I'm not letting them get away with sticking this to me.

And so round two of the appeal process begins...

Hip Chickers!

Today I finally uploaded the photos from the night I met fellow Hip Chick Lisa and her friends Kristen and Alka!

Check it out:

http://hipchicknyc.blogspot.com/2008/05/12-week-mark-and-living-in-hip-nation.html

Good News???

I think this is good news...

Yesterday I got a letter from Cigna (dated May 13th) stating that they'd received my appeal request. They will review it and get back to me within 30 business days. Fine.

Then today I get another letter from Cigna (dated May 12th - the day before above letter) stating "I am pleased to inform you that we have authorized in network payment of your claim for Robert L. Buly on date of service February 14, 2008. I made the necessary arrangements with our Claims Department to reprocess this claim by June 12, 2008."

Both letters are electronically signed by the same person.

Soooooooo, now I owe how much?!?!

Stay tuned....

Life In The Fast Lane

A sign of normalcy: I am once again passing people on the sidewalks of my daily commute.

And rolling my eyes and groaning at the slow moving tourists who insist on walking 4 across...

Ooops, I Did It Again

I woke up this morning and realized that I didn't post anything yesterday. But after 3+ months, I feel as though my hip has finally started to take a backseat in my everyday consciousness. As the pain lessens, as my strength grows, as my range of motion increases, my right hip is no longer in the spotlight.

When I went out for lunch yesterday, one of the security guards in our building approached me in the lobby and asked if I was OK. "I'm fine, " I replied, having no idea why he'd asked. "Oh, well you're limping." "Oh, right! Yeah, I was the girl on crutches a few weeks back, remember?" It's exchanges like these that bring it back.

Also yesterday at PT, Adam said that he's going to cut me back to once a week starting next month and then soon after that I'll be at the point where I only come in for a "check in" every few weeks or so before my next surgery. Apparently, he has no plans to use up all 60 of the PT visits I'm allowed by Cigna.

And so, I think I'm going to dial things back a wee bit on the blog - maybe take a modified summer hiatus. I'll still post when there's relevant news in Hipville; I'll continue to update on the Cigna appeal saga. And I'll be back in full force this Fall as I ramp it up in getting ready for my left hip surgery.

Sunday

I went to the gym today and did the 10 minutes I'm allowed on the stationary bike. I'm supposed to do it with no resistance, but I cheated and did it at a whopping level two, which might as well be with no resistance... I also used the speed bag again. I still love it.

As much as my hip is getting better, I still very often feel as though my leg is tired. Probably only my fellow Hip Chicks can relate. Right now I feel totally fine and normal, except that my right leg feels as though it has run a marathon.

Baby steps.

I Can't Dance

Tonight Doug and I went to the wedding of our friend Kristine. She looked beautiful and radiant. We had a good time seeing her and her new husband and catching up with some old friends who were seated at our table.

I've never been a big dancer. I move too much like the cliche of the rhythm-challenged WASP from Connecticut that I am. Tonight I had the perfect Get Out of Dance Hell Free card, and I played it.

Weather Report

I don't know what it is about the rain and cold that makes me feel my hardware more, but it does. Today was rainy and windy, making me creakier than when it's sunny.

Thankfully, tomorrow is supposed to be nice.

The 12 Week Mark and Living in Hip Nation

Today was a noteworthy day for three reasons. The least of which is that today marks my 12 weekiversary since I had my surgery. I continue to get a little bit better each and every day.

Today I also scheduled my femoral derotation osteotomy, and arthroscopy for my left hip and hardware removal on my right hip: my next surgery date is Tuesday, December 2nd. This is, of course, provided that the insurance gods don't frown on my humble request to be relieved from my pain.

Perhaps now I should re-title the blog to: The Year of the HipS. Although, I kind of liken it to a Chinese year - the year of the dragon, the year of the monkey, the rat, the hip... That's just my take on this world.

I often refer to myself as living in Hipville. I think of Sarah as being a close neighbor - the only other FDO I've encountered to date, having had same surgeon in the same hospital. I've met her; I've emailed her with my questions too embarrassing to ask of anyone else - she's someone with whom I can identify in this odd place in which I've found myself.

Tonight my Hip World got a little bit bigger, as I met my second Hip Chick, she being from the greater Hip Nation. Lisa is a THR (one down, one to go) who reigns from the west coast. I met her through the Yahoo Group and she's in town with her friends Alka and Kristen. It was truly my pleasure to meet them all for a drink - which turned into drinks and dinner! (Top photo: Lisa, Me, Kristen; bottom photo: Alka, Lisa, Me)

I am so thankful for the internet that unites us. I've said it before - I'll say it again - it's through meeting other Hip Chicks, on-line and in person, that I feel like I am not a freak. Before my diagnosis, I'd only known hip dysplasia to be an ailment for dogs.

We are all walking (or limping) our own paths in Hip World, but we have a common bond that makes for an instant rapport. We can share our experiences and insights to help ourselves in ways in which our gifted surgeons cannot. I feel blessed to have options, some of the best medical support in the world, and Hip Sisters.

Kristen - get that MRI! I'm going to make sure that Lisa stays on you for that! ;)

12 Week Check Up

Today I had my 12 week X-rays and check up with Dr. Buly. Everything is looking good and the bone has knit back together nicely. He also gave me the thumbs up to have my left hip done before the end of the year. The bonus good news for me, is that he agreed to remove the hardware from my right hip at the same time that he's in there fixing the left, which means one less surgery for me.

Now all I have to do is deal with the Cigna appeal and hope that they don't totally shoot me down on getting the left side done. They have been such a pain in the ass, I fully expect them to deem the surgery not to be medically necessary just to get out of paying any more money.

Rat bastards.

(Sing it with me!) "The Hip Bone's Connected to the - TAIL BONE!"

Ouch. What a pain in the ass - literally.

Lately my tail bone hurts more than any other part of me. I talked to my PT about it this week. He said it's normal and that it's just the tendons that are connected to the end of my spine. Who knew?!

He said the pain should go away in the next couple of weeks as things work themselves out. I hope he's right. It feels as though I've just done a 20 mile bike ride on an unpadded seat.

Ouch.

Essence of Penguin

I realized that my entry from yesterday may have been misleading. It's not like I've lost my limp permanently, I just no longer have it constantly.

When I'm tired, when I've PT'ed too much, when I've worn my pumps for longer than I should have, when I carry too much weight, I limp. I also revert back to penguin whenever I have to move quickly.

Here's the visual: today was a nice Spring morning and I left PT feeling pretty damn good about my progress. I hit the street and begin to j-walk across Madison Avenue on my way to the subway. Halfway to the other side, I'm forced into a "run" in order to avoid getting hit by a livery car and I immediately turn back into a penguin. I might as well be running across the ice to get away from the sea lion. All I need are yellow webbed feet and a beak to complete the look.

Penguin is no longer feeling quite so smug.

Abby Normal

I've reached the point where when people meet me, they have absolutely no idea that I had major surgery a few months ago. I'm seemingly normal. That is, until they ask me to carry something heavy and/or move quickly - then they must think I'm just a slug or some unmotivated lazy-ass chick. I no longer have the cane or crutches to flag me a being a gimp.

Doug and I volunteered at a dog trial today and that was just the case. They needed us to quickly help set up the competition rings which involved schlepping a bunch of gates around. Doug was doing his share but I had to be the "I can't lift that much weight" chick, whom I would normally roll my eyes at if the shoe were on the another foot.

The good news is that I made it through the day without any pain. I'm continually getting better/stronger through PT, but it still feels as though I have an enormous rubber band stretched across my hip that's limiting its movement. My limp seemed to go away overnight. It was if some primitive part of my brain finally got the message that the hip has been re-engineered - it had its light bulb moment of "ah, ha! So this is how it works!" and bingo, the limp disappeared. Unfortunately I can't just snap my fingers and make the feeling of tightness go away - I know it's going to take time and effort, and that's the hard part for me.

I want to be fully back already.

What's In My Pocket?!

Doug and I rode up to CT tonight to attend a going away party. It's about a 2 hour ride each way.

A few weeks ago when I rode in the car for long periods of time I'd get really uncomfortable - stiff from sitting too long, and in pain lingering from the surgery. Now the long rides don't bother me, but bucket seats give me a whole new sensation. It feels like I have something in my pocket. Something that's pushing on the right side of my leg. What I'm feeling is the blade plate. The swelling has gone - I can even lie on that side. It's just feels weird.

Before I had my surgery, I remember Sarah telling me that she could feel her plate. As I recall, she described the feeling as being neither good nor bad just that "it feels like I have a metal plate in my leg." At the time I was like, "huh?" Now I know exactly what she meant.

Citizen Cane-less

I've gone a full week without a cane. I think I'm officially done with it until I have my left hip femoral derotation osteotomy.

I told Adam I'm cane-less and he was OK with it. I even got to use the "circus bike" at PT today. It's a stationary bike with a very short crank and nominal resistance. Your feet spin around in tiny little speedy circles, like a clown bike. Not a lot of cardio, but mas bien de nada, as they say.

Speaking of the left side, it's gotten a lot crabbier in the last couple weeks, as I had been warned and knew that it would. For a little while there was a part of me that was thinking that maybe I wouldn't need to have that side fixed because I was feeling so good. But that's the same kind of thinking I had last fall when I'd convinced myself that I only had a torn labrum when I initially went in to see Dr. Buly. How wrong I was.

Yesterday's Post

So, yesterday I didn't post a blog entry here because I posted one for work instead - check it out:

http://newsroom.mtv.com/2008/05/01/american-idol-a-view-from-the-audience/

Today marks my 11th week in Hipville. I haven't used my cane in almost a week and I haven't had to take any Tylenol for pain since Monday. Not too shabby!

Stay Tuned

Will update tomorrow...

Short Turn Around

There's a term in film and TV production for when you work the crew late and bring them in early the next day: Short Turn Around. Usually there's a penalty involved.

I was on a short turn last night. By the time I got to bed it was 2:00 AM. I had to be at the conference by 8:00 AM. I put in for a wake up call at 6:30 which turned out to be moot because I was woken up at 5:30 AM by a friend who didn't know I wasn't in New York.

I'm beat/whooped/kick-ass tired. I'm going to sleep now.
Don't think I'll have any problems nodding off.

Long Day

I finally got into LAX and am now on the Hertz bus then I'll be off to the hotel. Need to be up and to the Skirball Center by 8 AM tomorrow. Doesn't allow for much sleep. Or time to do PT homework.

I was limping a little when I got off the plane but that pretty much went away by the time I got moving.

Colleagues/Friends

The last 3 hours of my wait have been pleasant. Had dinner (and several beers) with two colleagues who are similarly stranded. We're all going to LA but not on the same flight.

Also, upgrade request is looking promising.

I have been at the airport for more than 9 hours now.

4 Hours to Go

Took a nap...

Blaaaaaaaah!

The Waiting Game

I'm SUPPOSED to fly out to LA today. For some reason I was booked on a 2:45 PM flight - I must have still been under the influence of the pain or too much Tylenol if I chose that time. Anyway, I made the best of the late departure time by going to PT in the AM and then showing up a little on the early side for my flight. There's bad weather here in NYC (rain) and although the radio talked about flight delays, when I arrived at JFK, mine was listed as being on time. Cool.

Then I get an email notification - flight delayed until 7 PM. Then I get another - delayed until 8. Then 8:30. Now 9:00. They've told me the aircraft that's supposed to carry us out there has departed LAX. We just have to wait for it to arrive and be turned around.

This is waaaaaaaay to much time to be hanging out here, but the thought of sitting in a car for an hour+ to get back into the city appeals to me less.

I've already visited both admiral's clubs, gotten myself a manicure, and drunk a beer. I can't go home and start this game again tomorrow because I need to be in LA by 7:30 AM tomorrow. Ugh!

Thank you Beth for the suggestion re CVS for a collapsing cane - I will be sure to check it out.

What's in a Name?

I've got a site meter on my blog. I put it there at my mother's suggestion and out of my own curiosity. I find it interesting to check it out from time to time to see who's hitting The Year of the Hip. It shows the location of each visitor and if they found the site through a search engine, what the key search words were. All well and good. A lot of my hits come up as the result of people looking for more information on hip dysplasia, Dr. Buly, or other related subjects. Some are coming here through the links of my hip sisters. All cool.

Some are random Google miss-hits and near misses: platinum ring sets off metal detector, father-in-law, pain and Canadian crutches, etc.

Some are just plain icky searches. Unfortunately, some of my blog entry titles have made my site the pop up where I would just assume they not. "Metal Naked and/or Blubber Girl" was a real winner evidently. I've had hits from Bratislava in Slovakia, Diyarbakir in Turkey and Accra in Ghana to name a few. Clearly a journal of one woman's experience hip dysplasia isn't what they're looking for.

eeeeeeeewe!

On a positive note, I haven't used my cane since I left it in the car Friday night. I also haven't had any Tylenol this weekend. All good progress, but here's my dilemma: I'm headed back out to LA tomorrow - do I schlep the cane out there with me and leave it in the rental car or just make a go of it without it? I've done well this weekend without it, but can I make it through the next four days? I can always buy another one out there I suppose. Too bad they don't make canes that collapse down small enough to fit into my wheelie suitcase.

Cardio Problem Solved

Today I went to the gym and did one of the two activities Adam OK'ed for me to get some much longed for cardio: I used a speed bag.

I've got so say, I REALLY LIKED IT. It also blows the doors off of the lame-ass UBE/hand bike. I had one of the trainers get me started and then he left me on my own. 45 minutes later I made myself stop because my technique was getting a little sloppy. Mind you, my technique needs a whole lot of work, but it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Since I still have a fair amount of my crutch muscles left, my arms didn't get too tired. While I didn't get my heart rate up into the panting/sweating/outta breath zone, it was definitely up. The speed bag is also a fine way of blowing off a little tension. Mentally I feel so much better.

This guy is pretty cheesy, but watching this clip before I went to the gym gave me a little bit of a clue as to what I should be doing: http://youtube.com/watch?v=oCGZ6smWppI

Ix-nay On The Ayaking-kay

So, at personal training this morning I excitedly told Adam about my great plans to go Kayaking For Cardio this weekend. He didn't share my enthusiasm - too much compression of the hip flexors evidently.

Maybe I'll drink 17 cups of coffee tomorrow morning. That would get the heart rate up.

High Stepping

For about two weeks before I was given the green light to graduate from my crutches to a cane, I had dreams that I was walking unassisted. Now after three weeks (today is my Nineweekanniversary) of using the cane, I find myself leaving it behind - upon leaving the house in the morning, leaving the office at the end of the day, at restaurants. I have to make a conscious effort to remember it or else I'm likely to leave it behind. I think I'm ready to 86 it.

Today I wore my heels around the office. Once my body (and feet) got over the initial shock, it was fine. I even went out for lunch with a friend wearing them. They slow me down a bit more than my chefs' clogs but they're good for my psyche.

The Blues

I've been having a rough couple of days - I feel kinda blue/blah/PMessy. I think part of it is being off of the pill (clotting risk post surgery) but it's mostly the lack of exercise.

I know, I know I'm a cry-baby broken record on this topic: whaa, whaa, whaa! While riding into work this AM it occurred to me that I could go kayaking for cardio. So now I've got my fingers and toes crossed that the weather holds out this weekend. I'm also hoping that the kayaking place up the river is still in business.

In getting my head game together for my surgery and recovery, this aspect of it never crossed my mind. I just never thought I'd feel this way about working out. I've never been particularly regimented about going to the gym (I'm kidding myself here, that's a gross understatement) but commuting in and out of Manhattan means lots and lots of fast walking, and stairs, and dashing through intersections to make lights. Exercise happens without even trying. To my credit, I did do Pilates and T'ai Chi on a regular basis. I also walked the pooch every morning and ran her in two agility classes every week; I putzed around the garden, and ran up and down the stairs at home every time my little A.D.D. brain decided I needed something from whatever level I wasn't on.

I am walking from GCT to Times Square and back every day, which is maybe a little over a mile in total. I also try to get out of the building every day to walk and get my lunch from a local deli. The big diff now is that I have to use my "regal walk," as Adam calls it: The queen isn't in a rush, heavens no, she won't ever move fast enough to perspire.

Another thing that's got me down is that today would have been my former assistant's 27th birthday. Tragically, he died in a car crash during Christmas break a little over 3 years ago. I still miss him. He was one of my best and filled with potential.

I'm getting a massage tomorrow morning, which is always good for the spirits. I've also refilled my Yaz and will start those back up the nanosecond I can.

Tuesday

I was still sore from yesterday's PT for most of today. I also spent way too much time sitting and climbed way too many stairs so I'm pretty stiff now.

I went back to the chiro for the first time in about 6 months. Got some good upper back cracks. I also didn't owe one bloody cent for my visit now that I've totally maxed out my out of network cap. Of course, they're still trying to tag me for more than double my cap. Rat bastards!

This evening Doug and I went to a screening of a doc titled "Very Young Girls," directed by my friend and colleague, Nina Alvarez. It's about girls in prostitution who are under age in the United States. Sad but true fact, the average age that most girls start is 13. I believe that most of us here think of child prostitution as something that mostly happens overseas, like in Asia. Sadly it's happening right here in our own backyards.

I recommend the film if it happens to come to your local film fest. I believe it will be airing on Showtime at some point too. Worth a watch.

Lastly, but not least, best of luck to you Cass!!! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. See you on the other side!

Whooped

This morning at PT Adam had me add some new exercises to my routine, but still no cardio. It's starting to wear on me. He's told me he hasn't forgotten about my ambitions, but isn't ready to cut me loose. So instead he worked me hard and then told me to avoid stairs for the rest of the day. As if...

I was pretty sore all day today. I've depleted my and every one of my employees' supplies of Tylenol and Advil, so I went without and limped though the day. But still on a mission, I decided to head to the gym tonight after buying a 250 count bottle of Tylenol. I spent 20 minutes on the one and only piece of equipment I'm allowed to use: the hand bike. (I know it has a real name but it's escaping me.) So, 20 minutes later I had effectively hand-biked a third of a mile and burned 19 calories. I wish I were joking - NINETEEN. Gee, I think I'll have an extra carrot stick tonight... The worst part is that I didn't even break a sweat. So much for cardio on that thing.

I must have done something right though, because I passed out on the sofa while watching TV. Maybe the hand bike isn't all that bad?

Just Get Over Yourself Cowgirl!

Looking for an alternative to my cowboy boots, today was probably the most depressing shoe shopping trip I've had EVER...

Everything is either too high, too flat, or just too damn frumpy. I found a pair of Stewart Weitzman wedges that would have worked with my suits that I could have actually stomached. They were even on sale. Of course, "on sale" is code for: they're complete sold out of my size system-wide. Of course they are. At least the woman was nice to me. In every other store I went into I probably could have taped a platinum American Express card to my forehead and they still wouldn't have helped me. No one wants to wait on Cane Girl with the sour look on her face. Admittedly, my mood went downhill pretty quickly.

So that leaves me back again with my cowboy boots. I did remember today that I have a pair of chefs' clogs in my desk - I'll have to dust them off tomorrow and give them a shot. But I'm still without anything I can wear with my dressier pants. I think my only option is to wear the clogs back and forth to work and then slip into something less comfortable once I get there.

You'd think skirts would be a good option, and I'm all for them in the wintertime when I've got the security of black tights and boots to cover things up. But I'm as pale as the dead, so skirts in the spring/summertime are always dicey with me. I end up worrying about whether or not my self-tanner is blotchy or has started to molt, which doesn't do a whole lot for my self confidence in what I'm wearing. Makes me kinda miss the days of using a tanning bed without all the guilt.

I realize that this is just a whole lotta whining about shoes. It just depressed the hell out of me today. When we went for our pack walk tonight I had my moment of just being tired of all of this: the gimp sticks, the PT exercises, of not being able to wear my suits and my shoes...

I need to keep things in perspective:

• I don't have the pain that I had before my surgery.
• I live in a country and an area where I have access to some of the best doctors and hospitals in the world.
• I have insurance - even though they are trying to screw me.
• It's just shoes

Buck up Cowgirl and get over it!

My Hip Father-In-Law

Doug and I drove up to Cape Cod today to see my father-in-law. He's doing worlds better then when I saw him last, just after his surgery. He's still in rehab and next week will likely get moved to another facility for patients who require a little less supervision. All and all he's doing well. He asked me a bunch of questions about my hip, my recovery and PT. We now have a common bond beyond his son.

I haven't used my cane all day and was walking really quite well up until late afternoon when the limp switched on again. By the time we took my mother-in-law out for dinner the pain had spiked up to about a 6. Thank G-d for Advil and pinot noir.

Now we're making the long trip home. I wish we could somehow teleport ourselves back to New York and be spared the seemingly endless and painful drive that is highlighted by 112 miles on I-95 that spans the length of the state of Connecticut.

At least the Yankees are on the radio.

Moving Forward

PT went pretty well this morning. I told Adam how much I've been walking without the cane and he didn't seem pissed - probably because I've been good about doing my homework. I'm about ready to ditch it altogether.

I'm also making progress on the Cigna front. Lucky for me, my sister is an attorney with experience in this type of thing. It really looks as though I shouldn't owe a dime beyond the $4,000 I was told I would. If I have my left hip done later this year they should cover it entirely. Of course, we'll see where the pieces fall, but she said that in disputes such as these the patient and not the insurance company usually prevails. I hope she's right. I feel like I'm pretty motivated already to get the other hip done and over with already. Not spending an additional $4K is even greater incentive.

Spring Time in New York

Today was a beautiful day in New York - the kind of day when you can feel that the air has softened; gone is the sharp edge of winter.

Unfortunately, I didn't leave the confines of the office between 9:30 AM and 7:00 PM. It was still warm and nice when I finally left and even now, just having gone for a "pack walk" (Doug, me and the dog) it was still very pleasant. This is truly my favorite time of year.

Since I've stopped wearing my workout pants to work, I'm in jeans. All of my suit pants are hemmed for 3.5" heels, which I'm not quite ready for. My jeans are all hemmed for heels as well, but my cowboy boots are both high and low enough to work. Right now, they're my only option. I love them, but I just can't wear them every day.

As much as it breaks my heart, I might just have to go shoe shopping this weekend. Bummer ;)

M.I.A.

I think yesterday was the first time I missed a blog entry since I've started this journey. Don't worry Mom, I'm still alive.

I've been walking more and more sans cane. I've also been really focusing on walking sans limp. I've also been good about doing my PT homework. I think it's all starting to pay off. I got through most of today without the cane, although I was limping again by the end. To make good, tonight I took a walk around the block with Doug and Paris using my gimp sticks and righted myself again.

Negotiations with Adam to be had on Friday....

Walking the Straight and Narrow

I went to personal training this morning. As tedious as the exercises are, they're really working. I've noticeably improved over the last couple of weeks - I'm becoming more flexible, limping less.

I still have a limp when I walk without my cane. But the weird thing is that if I walk without it with my arms directly out to the side (like the letter "t") I have almost no limp at all. To fit through hallways I have to modify to "cactus" arms and limp only slightly more. Arms back down: I'm limping. I have no idea why it works and even Adam was stumped by that one. I visualize myself walking normally - as hard as I try, I can't yet walk like a normal person.

So, today at the office I T-walked and cactus-walked around a bunch without my cane. Adam would be pissed, I know but I am sooooooo sick of it. For the first time in 8 weeks I wore jeans to work - i.e. something other than the black workout pants. I crave normalcy.

Insurance BS.3

Now the fun with Cigna really begins...

Before my surgery I called Cigna like an obsessed person. Did they get my predetermination paperwork yet? Had they approved it yet? Are we sure we're talking about the right hip? How much will I owe? $4,000, OK. OK, NOW TELL ME AGAIN THAT I WILL ONLY OWE $4,000, RIGHT????? They swore up and down, that's all I would owe.

Guess what? They're leaving me on the hook for more than $8,100. of the surgeon's fees. Of course they are. Insurance companies are in the business to make money, not pay to it out.

And so now the appeal process begins for me. Little do they know, I'm not going to roll over and/or give in. I've also kept copious notes and call reference numbers every time I contacted them. I am not going to be beaten by them.

My biggest fear is that they will screw me entirely when I try to have my left hip done later this year.

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGG!

Date Night Again

Doug and I went out tonight for the antithesis of last Saturday's pool hall: we went to one of mid-town's former speakeasies and present day champagne bars.

I wrote this whole big entry about only using one of the gimp sticks and about fitting into a smaller pair of jeans only to have the posting lost in cyber space. Guess that happens when you drink champagne.

Good times!

Coffee with Sarah

Today Sarah, of Paper or Dysplastic fame, and I met for coffee. It is she that I have to thank for leading me to Dr. Buly and for writing a blog that answered so many of my questions. Nearly a year ahead of me, she's having her hardware removed next week. It was her blog and the others that ultimately inspired me to write my own. At first I published mine out of a sense of duty - returning the favor to those who are walking this path behind me. I had no idea when I started what a positive outlet this would turn out to be.

It occurred to me while we were talking that had this been 15 years ago, I would have had to face this whole ordeal alone. Sure, I have the support of my husband and family, but sympathetic as they are, they haven't lived in Hipville. It's been the internet and the blogs of my HipChick Sisters who have made me feel that I am not alone, I am not a freak, and that I can do this. Thank you too Lauren, Sam, and Cass (just to name a few.) I think of us as an underground sorority of sorts - Alpha Phi Dysplasia.

Sarah and I are seemingly in the minority in Hipville, having had FO's and not PAO's. I've seen the CAT scans of my femur bones pointed in different directions; my hip sockets are small, but serviceable. I know that what I had was the right procedure for me. I'm grateful to know someone who not only had the same condition, but is also in my neighborhood.

Best of luck to you next week Sarah. You will be in my thoughts Thursday afternoon.

Metal Naked and/or Blubber Girl

This morning I got to LAX extra, extra early due to the on-going American Airlines MD-80 drama (thankfully, I'm on a 767-300) and the metal blade that is dutifully holding my femur bone together. I took care to dress as metal naked as possible today - my wedding band, bra, and dental fillings are the only metal on me. For whatever reason, LAX is on high security today with cops set up at the airport entrance for trunk checks of vehicles. I'm thinking that this is a perfect opportunity to truly test my metalness.

So then, I DON'T set off the metal detector and I'm actually a weensie bit let down. I almost feel as though I've earned my special TSA pat down what with all of the effort of my surgery. Now I'm wondering maybe it WAS the barrett that set it off on Tuesday and not the 10" of stainless steel lodged in my thigh. Or maybe it's the blubber on my thigh that's concealing my pin. I do recall being told that I would only set off the detectors about half of the time, but it makes me wonder.

Before my surgery I dropped about 5 pounds that needed to go and then during my 6 weeks on crutches lost about 3 more due to the cardio workout that crutching through NYC brought on. Now that I've been on a cane for 3 weeks those 3 pounds are back. I've got virtually no cardio in my life now that I'm walking at the pace of an 80 year old. Come to think of it, I know some 80-somethings (Ray) who probably walk a lot faster than me right now.

I've never been one to obsess about my weight. I'm not pencil thin by any means, but I am blessed with a high metabolism, slim parents, and healthy eating habits. Never in my life have I been this sedentary. I feel like a potato.

I have a personal training date with Adam bright and early tomorrow morning. He's told me twice now that he's not going to let me get on the stationary bike just yet. I may resort to begging. Either that or I'll have to dust off the crutches and take a couple of laps around the block just to get my heart rate up again.

Scouted

The scout is over and, traffic being what it is in LA, it was too late in the day to bother going into the office. So I'm back at the hotel dealing with emails on the b'berry despite the fact that I'm in a room with lousy reception. I've got time to burn at this point. I thought about going to Forever Hollywood, as it's something I've always thought would be cool to check out, but I've already done a lot of walking today and am pretty tired. Ditto on going to The Grove (although I have been there a zillion times.)

I'm glad I'm heading home on a day flight tomorrow and not the red eye tonight as originally planned. Now, what to do for the next 14 hours?

Fun with Flying

Got to JFK this morning with plenty of time for my special wanding. I did set off the metal detector, but I'm also wearing a gianormous hair barrett that probably would have set it off anyway. On the return I will make sure that I am completely "metal naked" to see if it's the 10" blade plate that sets off the machine. The TSA didn't give a rat's ass about the special ID card. As I suspected, my platinum status on the airline got me further.

The drag is that the flight has been delayed by more than an hour and a half. Some silly little part in the landing gear that needs to be replaced. They futsed around for 20 minutes before deciding to scrap the whole idea and put us on a different aircraft. Baggage and catering transfer will take 45 minutes at least.

As impatient as I am by nature, I'm surprisingly good in these types of situations. Flying an average of 70K miles a year, I'd drive myself to drink if I let every flight delay get to me. There are a lot of people on this one who aren't taking it quite so well. It's just air travel people, deal with it.

Me, I'd just assume have landing gear that works.

Step it Up - or Not

Adam and I are back on speaking terms. He gave me 3 new exercises to add to my personal training regime. He also told me to cut back on the stairs. Anyone who's spent any time living in NYC knows how hard that is - subway elevators and escalators are often either out of commission or a full block or more away from the entrance/exit you need to use. I infinite respect for the permanently disabled people living here. It's a challenge everyday. I have the good fortune of knowning that I will walk unassisted once again. Hats off to those of you who won't. Good for you for not letting the city beat you.

I negotiated with Adam regarding the stairs and he let me trade my cross-town shuttle for a three long block walk. It cuts out 4 flights of stairs (RT) and leaves me feeling like I got the better end of the deal.

Big day tomorrow - flying out to LA. TSA, here I come.

T-t-t-t-ake M-m-me Out T-t-t-t-o The B-b-b-all G-g-g-g-ame

Being a die hard baseball fan anywhere other than in a warm climate, is a challenge during the month of April.

We went to the Yankees game today and although it was only in the mid 40's, it was humid and felt bone-chillingly much, much colder. Having a 10" stainless steel blade plate embedded in my femur only makes it worse. Inexplicably, today I decided not to wear long underwear under my ubiquitous workout pants (OK, so what I failed to mention yesterday, is that the jeans I wore were probably my loosest, but hey, you gotta start somewhere...) It seemed warm enough when we got up, but did I really think I would be too warm??? Really??? I also forgot to bring my stadium blanket and rail pass with me. Good thing my head is attached. To make it through the game we ended up applying for Master Cards in order to get free fleece blankets, since the shops were all sold out. We'll only cancel the cards when they arrive - I was just desperate.

On this trip to the stadium I used my Canadians instead of the cane. I notice an improvement in my walking, for at least the short-term, every time I use them. Also important: people stay out of my way and give me the berth I need.

Tomorrow morning I'm back at PT. I hope Adam is feeling better.

Date Night

My big milestone today is that I finally got up the nerve to try on a pair of jeans and thankfully they fit!!! So, for the first time in almost 8 weeks I got to go out wearing something other than workout pants and shoes other than my Mephistos. Yay!

To celebrate Doug and I went out and played pool. I won two out of four games, but only by default. I did play better than I did on February 10th and I was also in less pain than I was then, but I'm still a pretty poor shot.

I used my Canadians (a.k.a. "gimp sticks") going in and out of the city - they really do make a big difference between walking like a normal person (albeit with Canadians) and walking with a cane and a limp. We got on the subway and there were no seats available so I leaned up against the door. An eastern European woman who had to be in her 80's saw me standing there and started bitching, in whatever her native language is, at the other passengers on the train. No translation required - she was pointing at me and then them. Finally she stood up and offered me her seat (which I declined) and someone else gave me theirs. I honestly would have been fine standing, but it is a lot easier to sit. Who knows, maybe common curteousy is tied to the economy.

B*tchy B*tch

I'm not a happy girl.

I got up at 6:00 this morning, despite the rain that blocked the sun which is the preferred way for my primitive brain to awaken versus the dreaded alarm clock. Skipped the shower, because I was going to PT after all, and headed into Manhattan dressed like a schlub - again, because I was going to PT. (You see where this is headed...)

I get all the way into f'ing Grand Central only to get a call that ooops! my PT guy, Adam has called in sick. Lovely. I have the joy and pleasure of finding myself at the office at the ungodly hour of 8 AM at a company where the norm is to work from 10 AM to 7 PM. Wahoo - I just love the fact that I've stumbled into an 11 hour Friday, unshowered and dressed for the gym.

I can't get a manicure because they don't open until 9:00. I can't go to Starbucks because I can't manage the cane and carry a purse and an umbrella AND a hot drink. I'm stiff and my back is killing me from the penguin walk. AAAARRRRRGGGG!

Upon reviewing my calendar for the day, I am reminded that a group of about 20 juniors from my alma mater will be here this afternoon to meet with me and two of my colleagues in the hopes of shaping their precious futures. "Hey kids, you too can grow up to be a crabby TV executive and limp into work looking like you just rolled off of the sofa after a day long marathon of True Life reruns." Yeeha.

I had best get my attitude in check by 1 PM... Have I mentioned that I'm not a morning person???