Lots To Do

It's Sunday afternoon and right at this minute I'm really, really thankful that I don't have to go into work tomorrow (which I would have) because I still have a lot to do:

• Finish shopping for my husband's Christmas gifts
• Wrap his gifts
• Finish up with about two more family Christmas gifts
• Get a pedicure (of course)
• Return my new cell phone since I just got my post-layoff blackberry
• Email still more people re thanks for thinking of me this week and PS please hire me as a freelancer as soon as I'm off of the DL...
• Straighten up my side of the bedroom because I hate an untidy room and I'll be spending more time than normal in there soon.
• Have a nice dinner at home and savor a glass (or two) of wine since it'll be a few weeks before I do that again.

My left hip has been hurting more than usual in the last 24 hours - and in a strange way, I'm very happy for that. It was never, ever as bad as the right but I still knew that it was better to get it taken care of sooner rather than later. I suppose the good thing about worrying for 4 months straight about being laid off is that it was part of the reason why I decided to have this done NOW. I'm glad I've still got the decent insurance, I'm glad I'll have my disability time. It was definitely the right move. I think my left hip has just been reminding me of this in it's own way.

The Good News, the Bad News, and the Good News

It's been quite a week for me... Who am I kidding? It's been quite a last 3 months for me.

So, the good news is that I had my pre-ops this past Tuesday and successfully donated blood to myself with an amazingly high iron count of 13.7 - truly a good number for a vegetarian. But that's not my good news... I have lived my ENTIRE adult life believing that I'm 5'3.75" inches tall. I rounded up on my license, passport and at every doctor's office I've ever been to - I've been passing myself off as 5'4" for years. So, I'm having my pre-op physical and the nurse actually measures my height instead of just asking me. "5'5"" she says. "No, I'm 5'4"." She measures again. "You're 5'5". Oh wait, your chart from the last time says you're 5'4"." Me: "no one measured me the last time. I don't remember the last time I was actually measured. High school, maybe?!" She takes me to the other scale with the measuring thingy and checks my height for a third time. "You ARE 5'5" tall." Me: beaming for the rest of the day and thinking to myself "I'm 5'5", I'm 5'5", I'm 5'5"! "

So, here's the bad news - I was laid off from my job yesterday. Doug was laid off from his at the end of July and is still looking for a job. This is why there were no more posts about the dreaded Cigna insurance drama - we switched onto my company's policy in September.

But here's the other good news - my company gave me a generous severance package that will go into effect after I've taken my 3 months of short-term disability leave to have my surgery and recover properly. I'm happy I don't have to crutch my way back to the office 3 weeks after going under the knife for fear of losing my job - I already have.

I am at peace with my layoff - everything has a time and a purpose. I took the job with goals in mind, and I accomplished them all. It's time for me to have my surgery, heal, and then move on to something bigger and better.

I don't know if any of my 35+ employees have secretly stumbled across my blog. I had intentionally kept it on the DL from them - being the boss and all, I wanted to keep these two parts of my world separate. If any of them have found it, and for those of you many readers who weren't my employees, they and you should know that my team was the best part of my job. I will miss them the most. They are a fine group of professionals who always did me proud.

Me? I'll be fine. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in life.

Now, on to that osteotomy!

2 Weeks and a Day

Last night it started to hit me for the first time this time that - OMG, my surgery is in TWO WEEKS!

I'm not worried about the pain or the surgery - been there, done that. I'm a little concerned about my right leg being able to carry the load since it will also have been opened up for the hardware removal and it's still less than a year since it was fixed. I only have two more weeks to get my ducks in a row, finish my Christmas shopping, wrap up the loose ends. I know that it will be here tomorrow.

What is perhaps most daunting to me this time, is that I know how looooooong it takes to get better. For the entire season of Winter I will be walking with a device - walker, crutches, gimp sticks, and then cane. I must focus on Spring and the renewal that the season symbolizes, for I will finally have a complete set of rebuilt hips.

4 Weeks to Go

Today I'm 4 weeks out from my surgery date. In fact, at this time a month from now my surgery will be OVER. I'll be in my room and on my way to recovery. I can't wait.

I've definitely been way more laid back this time around. After all, I know what to expect. Oh sure, I still have my staff on Sick Patrol - i.e. don't come in if you're sick and don't come near me if you think you might be. But I'd like to shed a few pounds and I've been working out some, but not nearly as much as I should be. It's been crazy busy at work and I just don't have the free time. Last February I was much more focused on the surgery because I had no idea what to expect and getting in shape was, in part, how I dealt with the stress of it. I'm not stressed this time around.

I read Cass' post about every surgery being different - a point I took to heart. I can't expect this to be any easier just because I've been through it before. To start, in addition to the usual femoral osteotomy and arthroscopy, I'll also be having the metal plate (or deep implant in insurance speak) removed and that will make it more challenging. But, what I do know is this - I won't break. I know that I'm strong and my attitude is good. It's going to be OK.

I am SO Bungee Jumping!

My mother lives in New Zealand and I try to go there for a visit every other year. Doug and I were there in '06 and we spent a little time in the Lake Taupo area. While exploring, we came across a bungee jumping place that had a platform high above the Waikato River. They were closed for the day but we walked out onto it as far as we could. As I stood at the gate, 20' from the jump point, I looked down at the river and thought "I could do this..." And then "I WANT to do this!" The next day we moved onto another part of NZ and the jump never happened.

Flash forward two years and I'm on crutches, my femur having been sawed in half and reattached at a different angle. Flash forward another six months and we're back in New Zealand with bungee jumping not on the itinerary. I didn't ask before the trip - I just floated the idea by Elaine, saying that I wouldn't be doing it on this trip. I had thoughts of detached limbs - the mental image wasn't pretty.

Today I had my pre-surgery appointment with Dr. Buly regarding my left hip. At my right hip pre-surgery appointment I literally had a list of 22 questions. This time I had only five: Can I have the same anesthesiologist? What is the order in which the three procedures will be done? Is the bone sawed in half with the hip in or out of the socket? (this was a question from my friends and the answer is IN.) What do I need to do to get the hardware back? And finally, will I ever be able to bungee jump??? Dr. B. said yes - once I'm fully recovered (reasonable.) No detached limbs, no osteotomies undone - it'll be fine.

2010 NZ trip - I HAVE TO DO IT!!

Here We Go Again

It was less than a 12 months ago that I first met with Dr. Buly and proceeded on to my Year of the Hip. Now I'm 8 weeks away from having my second FO, more arthroscopy, and the hardware removed from my right hip. I'm most excited about the latter. There are days when I just want to grab a pocket knife and screwdriver and take that thing out myself.

Today I made an appointment for X-rays and my pre-surgery meeting with Dr. B. for next Wednesday. Also on the agenda is to get back into the gym with renewed determination to build up my strength some more on the right side, re-tone the arms and work on the abductors on the left side. I've also got the 8 weeks to shed about 8 extra pounds. I made sure I was on the low side of my average weight before I went in the last time and I feel like it helped - less to slug around on crutches.

It's a lot easier this go around. There's none of the anxiety - I know what to expect, I know what I'm capable of. I'm also glad I wrote the blog, if for no other reason than to have the bench marks - showering for the first time, getting out of the house, stopping the Vicodin's, going to concerts at Madison Square Garden... that kinda thing.

I don't have any dread - so far. More than anything, I want to get this done. I want to be fully well. I want to be done with the Year of the Hip.

Change of Date

My left hip surgery date just shifted by a week.

Dr. Buly travels a lot to lecture on All Things Hip (or similar) and turns out he'll be away on December 2nd. Elaine gave me a lot of other dates to choose from including the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, which could be problematic considering that Doug and I will be hosting about 15 people this year... I also could have chosen Thursday, December 4th, but I decided to push it a full week until the 9th.

My first surgery was on a Thursday and that was all well and good, but what I failed to consider is that Dr. B. and Elaine actually have LIVES. That meant instead of having them to tend to me on the weekend, I had a steady stream of residents and interns checking on me. If you want to feel really old, stay in the hospital over the weekend. I know that they're competent and all, and I have full confidence that they'd pick up the phone and call Dr. B if there had been a problem, but I swear some of them were barely old enough to shave.

Thanks Doogie Howser, but I think I want the big boys (and girls) looking after me this time.

Pop Up Day - 6 Months Later

September 1st - the other Pop Up Day of the year in the world according to Laura.

How far I've come in 6 months:

• I feel like a normal person most of the time.
• My left hip hurts more often and more painfully than my right.
• My scar isn't so bad.
• It was worth it, worth it, worth it.

In 3 months and a day I'll be back in to have my left hip done. My second surgery will be almost a year to the day that I learned I have hip dysplasia and that the pain that had been plaguing me for years could be alleviated.

I'm looking forward to February pop-up '09. I'll be done with my surgery, done with my crutches and done with my cane. And except for the final hardware removal, I'll be done with the year of the hip.

A Debt of Gratitude

Last week Lauren and Sarah published "How Hip Dysplasia Works" - http://health.howstuffworks.com/hip-dysplasia.htm - it's an amazing resource and one that I wish I had when I was diagnosed less than a year ago.

The internet is a fabulous thing - I've found blogs, met Hip Sisters, checked up on my surgeon and hospital, and read what information I could find on hip dysplasia. If this link had been around a year ago, I would have devoured it. It's more comprehensive than anything else I've seen.

Thank you Lauren and Sarah for all of your hard work. You've provided a tremendous service to Hip Sisters (and Brothers!) everywhere.

Brava!

A Drink with Sarah and MP

Last Friday I met up with Sarah for a glass of wine after work and she brought along MP for me to meet. Sarah's right, she is HEAVY. She also has a gnarly sharp edge where the top is pushed into the femoral head. Forget the marrow, that's the part that skeeved me out a bit.

It was an altogether fascinating thing for me to touch and feel what I've only been able to imagine is inside of me. I don't reckon Dr. Buly ever shows these to patients before their surgery. I think I would have had a harder time going in if I had known - I might have run for the door.

Every time I've climbed a set of stairs over the last several months, I've thought to myself that my blade plate must weigh a lot because I thought I could feel the weight of it. My logical self always dismissed this, I mean really, it's just a little stainless steel. Can't weigh more than a fork... Right? Well, my instinctual self was right - it is heavy.

I can't wait (weight) to get it out.

Hello Bangalore!

I see I have had a lot of hits from Bangalore in the last week or so - what's the interest in Prilosec?

Born Dysplastic/To Be Wild

The trip we took in June had me really missing riding a bike. I got my motorcycle license in 2002 but was never 100% comfortable riding the sport bike that I had at the time. That bike has been sitting in the garage unused for the last two years. So, back from the west coast I started tire-kicking used cruisers and came across one that I just had to buy. For those who know/care it's a 2006 Honda Shadow VLX 600.

My left hip is hurting me more and more, but this I can do. I love it!

Two Hips, Two Pains

Last night I ran pretty hard at our masters' level agility class and this morning I was feeling it in both hips. My right hip was tight in that hard-workout kinda way, but most of it was walked off by the time I got to the office.

Not so for the left side - it hurts in that mortar and pestle, bone grinding on cartilage kinda way. There's no walking this pain off - it only got worse as walked my commute today. I will likely be reaching for my old friend, the IB's, before long.

It's days like these that make me so deeply grateful for having had my surgery.

And ready for the next one.

Agility Practice

Here's a clip from last Friday night's agility class:

Granted these are short distances and relatively slow speeds, but I am running and my right hip doesn't hurt! I do feel it on the left side though.

Adam, I Think We Need a Break

A couple of weeks ago NYSC opened up a new and beautiful gym a mile away from our house. Adam and I came up with a workout plan for me and off I went. I was supposed to see him a few more times this month, but meetings came up and PT appointments got cancelled. Then this Monday, I looked at my calendar in the morning and realized that I was supposed to be at PT 10 minutes earlier. Oooops!

I just don't feel like I need it any more. So I called up Adam and we agreed to stop for a while - I'll call him if I feel I need to. I'll probably start back up in October with a pre-game plan, but for now, Adam and I are taking the summer off.

Blade Runner

On Wednesday night I ran for the first time since my surgery. Oddly, when I'm in a full-on run I'm a lot smoother than at slower speeds.

I ran Paris at agility once that night and then again a few times on Friday night. My calves are still sore, but I can't even describe how good it feels to be running again.

Hip Bike Chick

Every few years or so, our friend Mark organizes a bunch of friends to meet up somewhere, rent Harley's and ride.

Last December Mark told me about the trip he was planning for June - San Francisco to Lake Tahoe to Yosemite to the Pacific Coast Highway and back to SF. Six days, 1,200 miles.

It's a lot of time to spend on the back of a bike, but Dr. Buly seemed to think it would be OK. . Well intentioned, but non-riding friends told me I couldn't do it - no way, no how. I'd have to sit this one out.

Don't tell me I can't do something...

It was an AMAZING trip. I stretched whenever we stopped and I was totally fine. My left hip was the side that gave me the pain - not the right. I'm so glad I went.

Happy Flight Delay

Doug and I are headed up to San Francisco for a vacation with friends and right now we're hanging out at the Admiral's Club because our flight has been delayed by at least 2 hours.

So, why do I have the big grin on my face? Because I'm sitting crossed legged!

Happy day!

The Good (?) Thing About Hip Pain

Lately my left hip has been bitchy - the grinding pain and the sharp pangs that wake me up in the middle of the night. This was always my "good side."

I don't like the pain, but every time I have it now I am reminded of how amazingly improved my right side is. My former bad side, that hurt everyday to some degree or another for the last decade, isn't causing me pain any more. I am my own before and after comparison.

The question I'm most often asked is if I'm glad I had my surgery - I am 1000%, yes. Pre-surgery there was a little part of my brain (that I squelched) that wondered if we weren't making a big mistake - What if something goes wrong? What if I limp for the rest of my life? Will I ever run again? I knew there would be no undoing it once I was wheeled into the OR.

I am so thankful that I decided to have my FO. I am deeply grateful to have been born into a part of the world where fixing my hip dysplasia is even an option. I'm looking forward to having the left side done.

And then I'll be done.

Hip Pain

Early, early this morning I was woken up by hip pain - in my left hip. As stiff as my right still gets, it doesn't give me joint pain anymore.