Sunday, December 21, 2008

"Skiing Accident?"

This afternoon I went to my second of two holiday parties for the season, from here on out it's me on the sofa and in the house. No more trips into Manhattan until January 9th. Next Saturday we're going to schlep up to the Cape to see Doug's family and that will be my last outing during my month of house arrest. I'm thankful for the holidays and the snowy weather we've had. It makes me less cabin-feverish.

The dinner this afternoon was a nice affair - a small gathering of old friends. We meet at the same restaurant in December every year. I'm so glad that I didn't have to miss it. As we were headed back to the car some random guy on the street says to me: "skiing accident?" It took me a beat but I just said "no, hip dysplasia," never breaking my stride (or whatever it is that one doesn't break when ambulating on crutches.)

It always strikes me as odd when people make comments like this. What exactly are they thinking? What do they want? I'm sure they don't know that they're being rude and I guess a part of me is satisfied that the default is that I look like I have a sports injury and not a congenital hip defect. But I still don't understand what motivates complete strangers to verbalize what's going through their tiny little heads. Or maybe the real question is, why do I feel compelled to answer?


TnT said...

I can totally relate. From the co-workers who ask "what happened?" (nothing "happened," I have hip dysplasia) to the acquaintences who ask, "did you fall down skating?" (no, I have hip dysplasia), to the total strangers who try to "help" and just make me feel worse ...

People are generally well meaning but I find I don't want their advice, help or concern most of the time. It's one way I deal with the pain and anger of finding out at 45 that I have hip dysplasia. I've also found out that it's OK to be sad and angry about this.

OK, I'm off my soap box. Just know that you are not alone in your feelings.

Hip Chick said...

Hi TnT,

Thank you for your note. I'm sorry to hear that you were sad and angry about learning of your hip dysplasia. I was diagnosed a little over a year ago and was actually relieved. I had tried to rid myself of hip pain for years through PT, massage, chiropractic, accupuncture, and pilates - nothing helped. I was beginning to think it was all in my head when at the urging of my accupuncturist, I finally broke down and saw an OS. I was happy to learn that there was something that could be done and I've been very pleased with the results that I've seen on my right (first) hip. I also thank God that I was born in a time and place where something can be done about it and that I don't have to suffer.

I hope that you have seen some positive results from your surgery.

best regards,