Goodbye 2008

2008 was the Year of the Hip for me and I'm deeply grateful that I'm done with five out of six surgical procedures to correct my hip dysplasia. But 2008 was also the year in which Doug and I both were laid off and the economy is the bleakest I've ever experienced. I know that things won't turn around quickly, but I'm hoping that by this time in 2009, I'll be looking back on a year in which Doug and I both took advantage of fabulous career opportunities (and at least one of us lands a job with health insurance) and the economy is soundly out of the crapper. What can I say? I'm an optimist. What I do know is this, a year from now I'll be able to walk, run, and sit cross legged once again. Gone are the stabbing pains in my hips as the result of my bones grinding away at my cartilage - I will always have this as one of the positives of '08.

Tonight Doug and I will have a quiet night at home. We're having Chambord Swiss Fondue (a.k.a. Fatdue) and champagne. We'll watch TV and the snow falling outside; we'll kiss this year goodbye and look forward to whatever 2009 has to bring.

Happy New Year to all!

Three Weeks Post Op

Today I am three weeks past my surgery and I'm feeling pretty good. Here's where I am:

• I can put on my right sock and shoe, but still need help with the left.
• No problems getting in and out of the shower on my own.
• I still know when I'm coming up on my next Tylenol dose, but the jags of pain are getting to be fewer.
• My biggest challenge, by far, is that I cannot sleep through the night. Every night between 2:00 and 4:00 I am awakened by leg pain and muscle spasms. Once I'm awake, there's nothing I can do to get comfortable again. I've learned that if I wake up on the early side to just take a benedryl or two to knock myself out. Otherwise I'd be up for hours.
• I still need a big nap every day.

PT came for her last home visit today. There's not much more that she can do with me, it's just isometrics for now until I see Dr. B on the 21st.

Home Again

We're home from the Cape. It was good to see the in-laws, but I'm happy that I will be sleeping in my own bed again and eating my normal comfort foods.

Definitely going to bed early tonight.

Fugitive

I never made it to the gym on Friday to suspend the membership - I took a nap instead.

Yesterday we made our way up to Cape Cod to see Doug's family. It's a year in which we would have normally been with them for the holidays. His parents are getting on in years and can't come to us, so we made the drive. We're staying at the inn where we customarily stay, having made (and paid for) the room well before my surgery. Ours is a nice room with a big king bed on the ground level and dog friendly.

I know that Dr. B. wants me to be extra cautious with my right leg, thus the house arrest. I am being super careful, but what I didn't count on is this: I. Am. Wiped. Out. I'm glad we're not traveling back today because it would be too, too much. This morning I got up for breakfast and then went back to bed until noon.

The upside to my escape is that I now fully and completely understand why I need to rest and I remain thankful that I have the time to do so.

Boxing Day

My sister and her family are coming to visit later this afternoon, so I guess you could say that we're celebrating Boxing Day. (Mom, I know this does you proud!) I'm looking forward to seeing her and her husband and the kids. She's bringing eggplant Parmesan for dinner - one of my favorites!

Life in Hipville plods on. I seem to have a "rough patch" every day between 4 AM and 6 AM - it wakes up with pain and I can't get comfortable no matter what I try. I doze on and off until it's time for me to take my Tylenol again at 6 AM and then sleep hard until 9 or so. In the pre-dawn hours I also get muscle spasms in my left thigh that don't hurt, but are strong enough to wake me up. Throughout the day I get jags of pain that, at times, take my breath away but they're thankfully brief and usually only occur in the last hour before my next dose of Tylenol.

I'm thinking about sneaking out of the house today, with considerable help from Doug, so I can suspend my gym membership for a while. I didn't do this the last time, because I didn't know that I could, but I figure saving the $75/month isn't such a bad idea.

Christmas Eve

There's not a lot to report when you can't leave the house. I got a suprise visit from the PT this morning - I swore she said she was coming on Friday... She'll come back for her final visit next week and then we'll be done.

Hmmmm, what else? Not much really. Doug bought some special treats for dinner tonight and tomorrow. We're just going to hang out with each other and the pooch and enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas.

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

Two Weeks Post-Op

Paris is my constant companion on the sofa.

Today marks two weeks since my surgery and again, it feels like it's been longer. I pretty much accomplished the goals I set for myself a week ago:

• Be able to put a sock on my right foot - I can do this about 8 times out of 10. I'll have this nailed by the 3 week mark, for sure.


• Be able to get in and out of the tub without help from Doug - I barely managed to do this the last time I took a shower, I think it's still a little hit or miss. Again, by week 3 it'll be a no brainer.


• Be better at crutching - I'm still on the walker most of the time, but it's gotten much, much easier for me to get up and down the stairs on the crutches.


• Be less swollen - after 2 weeks (and continuing) of nearly constant icing, I am a lot less swollen. My left knee once again looks like a knee.


• Ditch the Dilaudid - Check! I still have pain; I still know each and every time when I'm within 30 minutes of my next Tylenol dose; I almost broke down and took a Dilaudid this afternoon, but I didn't.

I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve and Christmas. Next week I'll be looking forward to New Year's Eve and the following week I'll be looking forward the end of my house arrest. Again, I am thankful to have the time to recover.

Happy To Be Housebound

Today was frigid here in the northeast with temperatures in the teens. (Apologies for not knowing the Celsius equivalent, but it's way below zero.) It was A-OK with me that I'm confined to the house - I like winter and all, but not bone-chilling temps. I find that having an 8" piece of stainless steel implanted in my femur doesn't help matters when the weather is cold or damp.

It was otherwise a fairly uneventful day - my PT came in the morning and gave me a bunch more isometric exercises to work on. She's going to come by on Friday to wrap things up. At this point there's not much else that she can do for/with me; my real PT will start up once I'm off crutches.

"Skiing Accident?"

This afternoon I went to my second of two holiday parties for the season, from here on out it's me on the sofa and in the house. No more trips into Manhattan until January 9th. Next Saturday we're going to schlep up to the Cape to see Doug's family and that will be my last outing during my month of house arrest. I'm thankful for the holidays and the snowy weather we've had. It makes me less cabin-feverish.

The dinner this afternoon was a nice affair - a small gathering of old friends. We meet at the same restaurant in December every year. I'm so glad that I didn't have to miss it. As we were headed back to the car some random guy on the street says to me: "skiing accident?" It took me a beat but I just said "no, hip dysplasia," never breaking my stride (or whatever it is that one doesn't break when ambulating on crutches.)

It always strikes me as odd when people make comments like this. What exactly are they thinking? What do they want? I'm sure they don't know that they're being rude and I guess a part of me is satisfied that the default is that I look like I have a sports injury and not a congenital hip defect. But I still don't understand what motivates complete strangers to verbalize what's going through their tiny little heads. Or maybe the real question is, why do I feel compelled to answer?

The Good or The Bad?

I've read and heard from several of my Hip Sisters who have had surgery on both of their hips that there is a good and a bad experience - one is definitely easier than the other. I've thought a lot about this and honestly can't say which is which - I think that they're just different. I guess if I had to pick, I would say that my right (first) hip was my Bad One. Here are the positives and negatives as I see it:

RIGHT HIP:

• I had no idea what to expect. (-)
• The pain wasn't as bad as I had imagined. (+)
• The Vicodins made me nauseous and gave me nightmares, the anti-nausea patches gave me blurry vision. (-)
• I was tired all the time, for months. (-)
• I was out of the house the day after I came home. (+)
• I pushed myself back to work too soon because I felt like I had to. (-)

LEFT HIP:

• I knew exactly what to expect. (+)
• The pain really hasn't been bad. (+)
• I have the time that I need to properly recover and don't have to push myself back to work for fear of losing my job. (+)
• With a couple of pre-determined exceptions, I can't leave the house for a month. (-)
• I'm not yet strong enough for crutches. A week and a half post surgery and I'm still using the walker about 90% of the time. (-)
• I'm not on Vicodin and the Dilaudid didn't give me any bad side effects. (+)
• Swelling on both legs just sucks. (-)

OK, so now that I've actually broken down for myself, I guess the first one was the bad one. I guess I can add one more thing to the LEFT HIP column:

• I've already done the Bad One. (+)

Last Night

I had a really good time at my team holiday dinner last night. It was about midnight by the time I was getting into bed and I was due for Tylenol. Bedtime is when I usually take my Dilaudid, but I figured I'd just take the Tylenols and then hit the hard stuff if I woke up during the night in pain.

Happy day - I made it through the night! I'm feeling pretty good today, albeit tired from last night, but the pain level is OK. I'm going to make a go of it again tonight on just the Tylenol.

One of my biggest motivators - if I'm off of the narcs I can have a GLASS OF WINE!

Hall Pass #1

I'm excited that I get to get out of the house tonight to go to my (former) team's holiday dinner party in the city. It's one of the two exceptions Dr. B. granted me as part of the terms of my post-surgery house arrest. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone although it's bittersweet that this is likely the last time we'll all be together as a group.

Right now I'm hanging out on the sofa (shocker!) waiting for the PT to arrive. Last time around, I didn't do any physical therapy until I was off of crutches. I'm glad that I can get an earlier jump on it this time and that my insurance covers 60 visits a year.

Christmas Cards

I spent the bulk of the day on the sofa, oh wait! Now I spend the bulk of all of my days on the sofa...

One of the smart things I did before my surgery, before the layoff, before Thanksgiving even, was to buy holiday cards. It's been years since I've had the time to send them out due my career which I loving called "the job that ate my life."

Being the type-A that I am, I also used the time to add my holiday contacts to my new (personal) blackberry. I know that I could import them from the old to the new, but my data base isn't as tidy as I'd like, and hell, I've got the time...

One Week Post-Op

I'd like to be able to say that I can't believe that a whole week has gone by already but the truth is, it feels like my surgery was at least 10 or 12 days ago. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

For me, the biggest difference between this surgery and the last is my mobility. Dr. Buly only wants me going down and up the stairs one time a day. I'm finding it harder to use crutches at this point - I can't swing through like I could the last time. I'm not stable enough for them and my hips are really, really swollen, and so I use the walker about 95% of the time. I'm able to put more weight on my arms with it. The upside that because I'm not holding up my left leg up all the time to swing on crutches, my circulation on that side is better (from toe touching) and my calf on that side doesn't feel like it's about to explode.

The other big thing for me this go around, is that I'm taking Dilaudid instead of Vicodin for the pain. I take 4 mg at bedtime and no more. I do have more vivid dreams on it, but none of the Steven King-like nightmares that the Vicodins gave me. I'm going to try to stop taking them next Monday or Tuesday. I also take 1,000 mg of Tylenol every six hours. I don't need a watch - come 5 to 5.5 hours after a dose, my hip lets me know loud and clear that it's time for more.

Here's what I'm hoping to accomplish over the next week:

• Be able to put a sock on my right foot
• Be able to get in and out of the tub without help from Doug
• Be better at crutching
• Be less swollen
• Ditch the Dilaudid

I think these are reasonable goals - stay tuned!

The Claw!!!!!!!

The visiting nurse came yesterday to do her evaluation before the PT arrives later in the week. We talked about the things that I can and cannot do at this point.

She didn't have an entire hip kit with her - she was missing a leg lifter, which I could really use this time around. I passed on the sock putter-on things - Doug can handle sockage for now. But I did take the sponge on a stick for washing my toes and THE CLAW!!!!!

How did I get through the last surgery without it?! Love it!

Keeping it Positive

When Doug and I were both working, there were always a thousand things that needed to be done around the house that we never seemed to have time to do. Since Doug has been laid off, he's done things like clean the gutters, do the brakes on the car, catch up on doctors' appointments, etc.

Now that I'm in the same boat I'm trying to do some of the same. Being on house arrest, tired, and with limited mobility has put a bit of a damper on this, but today I managed to call the dryer repair guy and the stove repair guy, two things I've been trying to do for weeks, but just hadn't found the time. Oh, and I also don't have to worry about one of us working from home to be here for the repair - we'll be here... Other than crossing those two things off of my list, the day was fairly uneventful. The visiting nurse came today for my evaluation and the visiting PT is supposed to come later this week.

I have some more calls to make tomorrow and will start on my Christmas cards. I'm hoping it won't be too rainy and Doug can go out and get a tree. Often, we don't get one because we feel we won't be home enough to enjoy it. Not so this year!

Anesthesia: Love It/Hate It...

When I was in pre-op last Tuesday I was a little disappointed to learn that I wouldn't have the same anesthesiologist that I had the last time. I had had such a good experience with her - I didn't remember a bit of the surgery, despite being "only" twilighted and the nausea after the fact wasn't too bad.

My disappointment quickly faded moments later when Dr. Buly came in to the room and told me that the anesthesiologist that I would have for my surgery is the same one that he had had when he had knee surgery and the same one that his wife was going to have when she had surgery later this month. If he's good enough for Dr. B. and his wife, he's good enough for me. Too bad I cannot for the life of me remember his name - I'll just have to wait for his bill to arrive for that.

My anesthesiologist this time was super nice, like the last, and I had none of the nausea that I had the last time. One minute I was getting settled on the first procedure table (they use one for the arthroscopy and another for the rest of the surgery) and the next minute I was in post op. I didn't need any of the anti-nausea patches that I had the last time. I was very, very pleased.

Oh, but the downside of anesthesia and the narcotics I'm now on... I don't want to go into too much detail because anyone who's every had surgery or been on narcs knows what I'm talking about and it's just, well... indelicate. Colace, Senna, and a whole lotta backlog (pardon the pun) is all I'm gonna say. I dislike this day as much as I did the last time around.

But as they say, this too shall pass. (again, please pardon the pun.)

Home Again

This afternoon I came home. It was a bit of a challenge getting in and out of the Xterra, but the trip home was otherwise uneventful. All of the movement did take it's toll though - I had Doug fill my Rx's and took 2 mg of Dilaudid when he came back with them. (Cut to 3 hours later when Laura wakes up from a coma-like nap...)

I'm so happy to be home though and OK with the month of house arrest too. I would have preferred not to have been laid off, but I am really glad that I can (for once) focus on getting myself well and not push myself back sooner than I should. Had I not been laid off, I'd be completely stressed about the fact that would have to delay my return to part-time work by a week, as per Dr. B's orders, and then stress about how quickly I could push myself back to being full-time. I'd be back on my emails and conference calls on Monday, despite the company policy of NOT working while out on short-term disability, because my department would expect me to - there's policy, and then there's reality. Now I don't have to worry about any of it.

Right now it's about getting better. PERIOD!

PS - the picture is of the wreath that Doug bought for our front door.

One More Night

Dr. Buly came by this morning to check on me and wish me well until I see him again in January. He restated the terms of my "house arrest" for the next month - he really wants to keep the right hip protected. He is granting me furlough for a party next Thursday though - I'll have Doug along as a spotter/chaperon and I won't be able to drink, so it will be OK.

I'll be released from the hospital tomorrow. It amazed me last February, and it continues to amaze me again, how quickly the body starts to heal itself. This morning I still felt a little dizzy and weak on crutches. By this afternoon, I was able to walker down to the PT room and then go up and down the 4 practice stairs that they have. I feel worlds better than I did just six hours ago.

It's too bad that the entire recovery process isn't this quick. I can remember last spring feeling as though I would never be able to walk without a limp; fearing that the swelling on my leg would never go away. I was also never able to really run after my last surgery - mostly because I had a set of mismatched hips, one corrected and one not. I'm hoping that I will be able to run again come spring time.

I am so thankful to be on the other side of this surgery. Now, all that's left is the hardware removal next year, and that will be a piece of cake compared to this!

For Mom

Here's the photo of me right before I went into the OR.

On A Scale of One to Ten

All of my hip chickers know this line: "on a scale of one to ten, what is the pain?" In the hospital, in pre-ops and post-ops, we are asked this over and over, all day long. My pain has been in the 4-5 neighborhood post surgery.... That is until the PT comes around.

About an hour ago I was decathed and got up on the walker to make my first trip to the loo. Standing up spiked my pain up to about a 9.75 for about 30 seconds. It's all consuming, but it passes and I know that it's part of my recovery. Oh sure, I'll squawk about it, but for the most part I'm dealing with it. I also think I happen to have a pretty high threshold for pain.

Not so for one of the women down the hall. I have no idea what she had done, or what the PT's are doing to her but she's been SCREAMING at the top of her lungs "NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I CAN'T DO IT!!!!" She's got a long road ahead of her. Literally, the entire floor can hear her. I think on a scale of 1 to 10, she's got to be registering about a 35 right now.

Maybe it's in my head, but my right leg already feels better having had the blade plate removed. I'm happy to be on my way to getting fully better.

Post Op - Day 2

What I'm feeling more than anything is tired. I slept really well last night (in between being woken up from the depths every 2 hours for vitals) and when I woke up around 7 I was ready for another nap.

PT spoke with Dr. B and he's agreed to let me put a little more weight on my right leg but he wants me to TAKE IT EASY. My post-op mall rat days are done - I have to lay low for the next month. PT had me up on a walker and I made it all 18 feet +/- to the door and then back. And now I'm exhausted again.

Other updates - my epidural is out and so is the IV, except for the tap. All that's left is the cath, which will come out after lunch.

Did I mention I'm tired? Going to take a snooze before the food shows up.

Come Fly With Me

First of all, Doug apologises for not posting yesterday. He was pretty tired after the day. Ha! He doesn't know the meaning of the word. I getting tired just typing this.

I did well with my Triple Threat (osteotomy, arthroscopy, and hardware removal.) The biggest challenge now is figuring out how I am going to grow wings and fly. I have the residents and PT in a conundrum - Dr. B said that I can toe-touch on the osteotomy side (10 pounds or so of weight) and be 50% weight bearing on my hardware removal side. Hmmmmmm.... that leaves roughly 40% of my weight to be supported by??? My arms, as it turns out. Sadly, I can't fly, but HSS has a walker rigged with arm supports. OK, what about when I get home? What am I to do with the flight of stairs every morning and night? I'm waiting for Dr. B to come by and hopefully tell me I can do the stairs at full weight on the right side.

OK - going to nap now. Tired, tired, tired. More later.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Lots To Do

It's Sunday afternoon and right at this minute I'm really, really thankful that I don't have to go into work tomorrow (which I would have) because I still have a lot to do:

• Finish shopping for my husband's Christmas gifts
• Wrap his gifts
• Finish up with about two more family Christmas gifts
• Get a pedicure (of course)
• Return my new cell phone since I just got my post-layoff blackberry
• Email still more people re thanks for thinking of me this week and PS please hire me as a freelancer as soon as I'm off of the DL...
• Straighten up my side of the bedroom because I hate an untidy room and I'll be spending more time than normal in there soon.
• Have a nice dinner at home and savor a glass (or two) of wine since it'll be a few weeks before I do that again.

My left hip has been hurting more than usual in the last 24 hours - and in a strange way, I'm very happy for that. It was never, ever as bad as the right but I still knew that it was better to get it taken care of sooner rather than later. I suppose the good thing about worrying for 4 months straight about being laid off is that it was part of the reason why I decided to have this done NOW. I'm glad I've still got the decent insurance, I'm glad I'll have my disability time. It was definitely the right move. I think my left hip has just been reminding me of this in it's own way.

The Good News, the Bad News, and the Good News

It's been quite a week for me... Who am I kidding? It's been quite a last 3 months for me.

So, the good news is that I had my pre-ops this past Tuesday and successfully donated blood to myself with an amazingly high iron count of 13.7 - truly a good number for a vegetarian. But that's not my good news... I have lived my ENTIRE adult life believing that I'm 5'3.75" inches tall. I rounded up on my license, passport and at every doctor's office I've ever been to - I've been passing myself off as 5'4" for years. So, I'm having my pre-op physical and the nurse actually measures my height instead of just asking me. "5'5"" she says. "No, I'm 5'4"." She measures again. "You're 5'5". Oh wait, your chart from the last time says you're 5'4"." Me: "no one measured me the last time. I don't remember the last time I was actually measured. High school, maybe?!" She takes me to the other scale with the measuring thingy and checks my height for a third time. "You ARE 5'5" tall." Me: beaming for the rest of the day and thinking to myself "I'm 5'5", I'm 5'5", I'm 5'5"! "

So, here's the bad news - I was laid off from my job yesterday. Doug was laid off from his at the end of July and is still looking for a job. This is why there were no more posts about the dreaded Cigna insurance drama - we switched onto my company's policy in September.

But here's the other good news - my company gave me a generous severance package that will go into effect after I've taken my 3 months of short-term disability leave to have my surgery and recover properly. I'm happy I don't have to crutch my way back to the office 3 weeks after going under the knife for fear of losing my job - I already have.

I am at peace with my layoff - everything has a time and a purpose. I took the job with goals in mind, and I accomplished them all. It's time for me to have my surgery, heal, and then move on to something bigger and better.

I don't know if any of my 35+ employees have secretly stumbled across my blog. I had intentionally kept it on the DL from them - being the boss and all, I wanted to keep these two parts of my world separate. If any of them have found it, and for those of you many readers who weren't my employees, they and you should know that my team was the best part of my job. I will miss them the most. They are a fine group of professionals who always did me proud.

Me? I'll be fine. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in life.

Now, on to that osteotomy!